murky waters | carl grimes¹

8. woodbury

"i'm no kid."

The drive back up to the prison was painfully quiet, after what we witnessed Carl do, everyone seemed to be conflicted. 

I didn't agree with it, not at first, but the more I got to thinking the more I realized Carl was right to shoot him. I never got to see how the Governor harmed them not until today. The worst I've seen was Glenn's healing face when I first arrived here. They shouldn't trust any of the Governor's people. I also experienced Merle, though he stayed away from me, Daryl kept him on a leash anytime Talia or I were around. Who knows the type of people that guy was raising in his walls. 

Killing the boy now saved us from future problems. 

I was happy to see everyone in one piece once we got inside the prison, no one looked harmed. They were worked up on the idea of going to Woodbury to end this. 

"Dad, I'm coming to Woodbury," Carl said as Rick pulled him into a hug. It was odd to see a young son and a father still together, the care he had whenever he hugged Carl or kissed Judith on the head, I couldn't recall that anymore. As much as I kept my family close to my heart, the violence killed any fond memories of a healthy relationship. 

I had Talia. I could compare my love for Talia to Rick's to Carl or Judith but it was different. It was different because Rick has been every waking moment being the one to fight for their lives. I only recently became that to Talia. The thought conflicted me, I wonder if Talia saw them and was saddened or if she thought of me as her Rick. I would never ask her that, that would mean I would have to bring up our parents, something I have yet to do. 

"Carl-"

"Dad, I did my job out there, just like all of you. Took out one of the Governor's soldiers," Carl said, looking up at his dad. I don't know what he was looking for, for his dad to be happy with his kill? I couldn't imagine Rick would like the idea that Carl killed another kid but at the same time I think he would understand. 

I felt Talia grasp at my legs, "hold me?" she asked, she knew I was barely strong enough to do so but I nodded and lifted her to my hip. She was getting big but she was surprisingly light. She shoved her head into my shoulder and hugged into me. I don't know if she witnessed Carl shooting the boy but I knew she wasn't having a great time listening to the conversation. 

"His solider? A kid running away? He stumbled across us," Hershel looked down at him. 

"No he drew on us," Carl corrected him. 

The sad thing is, if asked, I couldn't tell Rick the truth. Whenever the boy came across us I was just so shocked to see someone I couldn't remember if Carl or the boy held the gun up first. 

"I'm sorry you had to do that," Rick said. 

"That's what I was there for. I'm going with you," Carl insisted. 

With that Carl stormed off. I tried to readjust Talia in my arms, she had fallen asleep. I wanted to listen to what Hershel and Rick had to say once Carl was gone but I was too worried about dropping Talia. 

"Hey, hey, hey, let me take her," I heard someone say behind me, I turned to see Daryl, open handed and ready to take Talia. I gave him a nod and allowed him to carefully take her into his arms. "I'll put her in her bed," Daryl said quietly and then headed towards the cells. 

Though Daryl kept him away, Merle did use to make jokes about me being a teen mom, said he wouldn't be surprised if I was hiding the fact that Talia was actually mine. Daryl never took lightly to those jokes. 

I approached Rick as Hershel crutched away. "I know you're not going to let Carl go," I started, "but I know now that he can protect Talia if he needed to. Let me come, I said I would help keep this prison safe and this is me doing it," I looked up at him.