*book one to the murky series* |under editing
"Look at you, how did you end up like this?"
She never knew she'd end up the monster she's always feared.
the walking dead | carl grimes | book one: the murky series
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#1 : rickgrimes 1...
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Alexandria was the same as we left it. Sneaking back inside wasn't hard and I doubt anyone noticed we were missing. Well, Talia probably did but I am sure she was okay in the hands of Carol and Glenn. Enid had given me my camera once we got over the wall, once more not many words were exchanged as we parted.
"Hey, Enid," I called out to her, stopping her in her tracks. I was worried she'd think differently of me after watching me take on that group of walkers like I did but she seemed more impressed than scared. She looked back at me and raised her eyebrows, "I want to go out there again," I kept my voice down this time, just in case someone was around the corner.
"Yeah," Enid agreed in a simple term before looking away and walking off toward the house she stayed at. Whenever she told me she stayed with Olivia it made me sad. We were so much a like but I had people I considered a family. She went home and ate a silent dinner with Olivia, she didn't have anyone who cared as deeply as my group cared about me.
Guilt twisted in my gut as I made my way to the house. I have had no reason to treat my people the way I have been. It was so difficult for me to understand why I couldn't just accept their protection but talking to Enid really helped me realize that I couldn't just up and change everything about myself in a day. If I wanted to change it would take time.
Enid told me that she faked it until they stopped worrying about her. She's gotten better and worked on herself, dating Ron was a huge accomplishment whenever it came to her opening up to people, but a lot of what she said or did was fake. No one had time to sit around and wait for her to become who they wanted her to be so she just pretended to be what they wanted. That's the only way they left her alone.
Faking it seemed to be the best option. It was going to be hard for me to let people in but pretending to trust them would be something I surely could do. I could pretend that I felt completely safe in Alexandria and I could pretend that I didn't have my dark thoughts again.
