*book one to the murky series* |under editing
"Look at you, how did you end up like this?"
She never knew she'd end up the monster she's always feared.
the walking dead | carl grimes | book one: the murky series
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#1 : rickgrimes 1...
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I stood on the porch, and looked toward the gate. I hoped Daryl and Aaron would come back soon. Daryl replaced Erik out there, to be a recruiter. I didn't like that, it meant Daryl would be gone for days at a time. I missed having his watchful eye on me at all times.
I also missed knowing that he was safe. If something were to happen out there I wouldn't find out unless one of them came back. What if they both got hurt out there and that was the end of it? I would never have closure.
Deanna had banned me from going outside, I couldn't even go out there and look for him. Not that I thought that he couldn't take care of himself but at times like these I found myself missing him. He looked out for me and that's what I needed right now.
I huffed and made my way down from the porch. I knew what I was going to do, what I had to do. I started my way to Jessie's house to ask if Talia and I could come over later. It was time to set my plan into motion.
It still shocked me that Rick would ask such a thing. If we were still out there I would have taken it as a compliment but the more time I spent inside the more I realized those thoughts were brutal. They scared me before but now, it was twice as terrifying. My actions had consequences in here, if I fucked up Talia wouldn't have a safe place to live. I think that's what scared me the most, losing this chance for Talia. She loved it here and I would hate to be the reason why we had to leave. I was more than ready to leave her here under Jessie's watch but the more I thought about it the more I knew that Talia wouldn't allow that to happen. She would come with us if we were kicked out.
Killing people was bad. The more I thought about it the more it was destroying my mental health. Whenever that switch clicked I couldn't see anything but red. It was scary. Out there-- all I saw was red. Now that I've had the chance to be inside and be safe, it's gone away, though it came back every so often.
My plan repeated in my head. It wasn't the only thing going through my head though. Rick asking me to do it played over and over again. If Daryl or Glenn found out that Rick was the one who had me do this, I don't know how that was going to go over. Daryl had stepped up almost as a father in my life and it seemed that I was possibly starting to get Glenn back. Glenn hated this side of me and if he found out Rick was egging it on, he wasn't going to be very happy.
"No stop it!" Jessie's voice hollered as I made my way up the Anderson's front porch. Anxiety filled me as I heard her cry out again. If Pete was hurting her I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't stop him. My plan would be ruined but it would have the same outcome. The front door was wide open but I couldn't see anything as I ran up the stairs. I ignored the pain as I entered the house, this was much more important than my wound.
"Pete, stop it!" Jessie shouted, I reached for my knife but I didn't pull it out, I kept my hand rested on the base of it so I had easy access to it. The sound of glass shattering filled my ears as I found the commotion.
