Episode 16: Addiction
Watari sighed as he approached the softball field located on the west side of his high school, hands stuffed as far as his pants pockets would allow them to go. The cold winter air bit at his neck, and the dismal gray clouds in the sky were an appropriate reflection of his downcast mood. Tsubaki would be at the home plate, practicing for the upcoming softball season no doubt.
But he had to tell her this.
Some of the guilt from that night still echoed in his heart, as he remembered Kousei's devastated look of betrayal and shock. As if his best friend finding out about his addiction wasn't enough already, it just had to have happened as Christmas was approaching.
It had been a full month since that conversation. It was January now. Both Christmas and the New Year had come and gone. He and Tsubaki had still gone to the Winter Formal before Christmas break, and visited the market together for New Year. Watari could only hope that would ease the pain of his revelation, and continued dragging his feet towards the softball field.
The once proud soccer star's head hung uncharacteristically low as he recalled the words he'd said to Kousei in a pitiful attempt to justify his undisciplined lust.
"Give me a break, would you?! I need a little satisfaction now and then, so what?! Maybe if Tsubaki wasn't so uptight and actually cared to look and act like a real girl, I wouldn't need this!"
"You're blaming her?!" Kousei had shouted back. "For your mistake?! Is that all she is to you?! Just some model supposed to be on call whenever you want to satisfy your wicked imagination?!"
"Oh that's rich coming from you, little goody-two-shoes mama's boy! It took years for you to stand up to your mom's abuse, and you got all mopey when you still thought Kaori liked me instead of you! What would you know about being a real man?!"
Watari wiped away a tear...that one had probably been the worst.
"A real man?! Like you?!" Kousei's words rang in his mind. "Aiding human trafficking when you watch those things online?! Thinking that just because you're hot stuff on the soccer field, a girl owes you whatever you want?!"
"Whatever, Kousei! This is none of your business! I'm going home! And don't count on me and Tsubaki visiting anytime soon!"
Then Watari's heart really filled with pain at Kousei's last words before he'd stormed out the door.
"YOU TELL HER OR I WILL!"
Watari clenched his fists, balling up the lint at the bottom of his pocket seams. He'd wanted to turn around and defy his—probably former at this point—friend's wishes one last time. But he could not find the words, and had simply texted Kousei after the fact that he'd tell Tsubaki himself. Watari looked up and saw Tsubaki taking some practice swings at the home plate. Watari took a deep breath; he'd been stalling long enough. No backing out this time.
Tsubaki heard the gentle rustle of sneakers on dirt behind her, and turned to see Watari approaching the home plate. She smiled at him and tossed him an extra pitcher's glove from her duffel bag.
"Hey you!" she said with a cheery tone. "You're five minutes late!"
"Sorry Tsubaki," Watari tried to smile back. "Just lost track of time I guess."

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