intoxicated s.p.

Ch. 47

"-And yeah, thats basically what I did for the past two wasted months." I finished.

Sam and I were lying on the hammock I have hanging in my room. I was telling him about Zach and I while he was gone.

"Tell me about tour."

"Theres not much to say."

"Did you meet anyone? Maybe tell me about your hair?"

"The hair was Kian's idea."

"That's it. That's all you're going to say." I looked up at him.

"Let's just say that I wasn't in the best place."

"Sam you know you can talk to me right?"

"Meg, its over. It doesn't matter."

"Fine. I can always just ask Jc." I shrugged sitting up.

"Megan." Sam said.

"Sam I just want to know what happened on tour. What I missed. I want to know you're okay!" I said getting angry.

It has been a week since the last show and Sam has hung out with me every now and then but we never talked about tour.

"It's late and I'm tired. You can just let yourself out."

I got up and laid in bed and closed my eyes. I heard Sam get up and the bed shift. Sam lied down and didn't say a word. Sam didn't move either. I rolled my eyes.

"What are you doing?"

"Going to sleep." Sam said.

"Then go home. I'm not in the mood."

"I was upset. Every show I tried to put a smile on my face. Sometimes it worked but some people saw right through it. Especially fans. It just wasn't the same with you gone. With everyone gone. I had loads of fun but I couldn't help but think what would happen if you were there. Sometimes before shows I cried. I would sit on the bus while everyone warmed up looking through our messages and photos. I knew that I had fucked up yet I couldn't bring myself to do something about it. I couldn't find the strength to face you."

I slightly smiled due to the fact that he had just opened up to me. Of course, my heart ached for him but after all he was the one to break up with me.

"Do you still love me?" I asked breaking the silence.

I stared up at the ceiling and waited for his answer. I heard him take a deep breath and then exhale.

"I mean how can I not?" He almost whispered. "D-Do you still love me?"

Although I knew he would asked that I was still shocked. I took a deep breath like he did and thought about it. I wasn't sure. I mean can you throw away a crush that you've had since junior high? Could I throw away the thought of us?

"I-I'm not sure. I don't even know what is going on with my life. It seems like just weeks ago I was 15 in my old house watching my brother and his best friend make music videos." I rolled over to face him and slightly smiled. "You'll always be my first love. You know that right?"

"Yeah but I wanna be your only love." He said grabbing my hand and intertwining our fingers.

"I need sleep." I sighed retracting my hand from his. I lied on my back and closed my eyes. What the fuck was happening with my life.

---////----

"Goood morning Meg!" Leah said in a sing-song voice.

I slowly opened my eyes and stretched. I looked next to me and saw an empty bed. I then look at Leah with confusion.

"What? Was someone suppose to be here?" She laughed.

"Uh, n-no I just thought Sam slept over." I said putting my hand to my head.

"Okay well get yourself presentable we have a meeting in an hour."

I nodded and then fell back on my bed. I grabbed my phone from its charger and looked at the time. 8:00 AM. Gross.

Placing my phone in my iHome I turned on my music and stood up. A paper floated to the ground and I picked it up.

I unfolded the white sheet and read the words.

Hey Meg

I left after you fell asleep. I am going to let you think and get your life sorted out while I do the same. I hope you have a great day today or whenever you read this. You deserve the world and more.

Sammy

I smiled at his words and folded it back into its original place and put it inside my bedside drawer.

Going into my closet I pulled out tights, leather shorts and a baggy t-shirt. I quickly changed and went to my vanity.

I turned on the curling iron and started on my makeup. I dabbed on concealer and then applied powder. I decided on contouring and blushing my face for today, swiped mascara on my lashes and quickly applied a plum colored lipstick. I loosely curled my hair and slipped on my docs.

"Megan lets go!" Leah yelled.

"Coming!" I yelled grabbing my purse, cardigan and phone.

The drive there we listened to music while sipping our coffee in tacky to-go mugs we bought months ago at a random rest stop on a road trip a couple weeks ago.

"And now that I'm without your kisses, I'll be needin' stitches!" I sung along.

Today I was surprisingly happy due to last nights "chat" with Sam. I was happy to just be young and a teen in California.

Once we got to the office we walked in and rushed to the conference room where we talked about our plans for the next month. We would have photoshoots, commercials, videos for channels like AwesomenessTV. It was exciting to finally be apart of something instead of being know as 'Kian Lawley's Sister.'

We met up with Andrea for lunch and I told her and Leah about what happened between Sam and I yesterday making sure to include the part about the note.

"So what are you going to do?" Andrea asked.

"Live my life," I smiled leaning back. "I'm eighteen and want to live up my time in LA while I can."

"What do you mean?" Leah said turning to me pushing her sunglasses up onto the top of her head.

Shit. "Oh I uh, I got offered a modeling job in New York.."

"When were you going to tell us? When did you even find out?" Andrea starting rambling, a habit of her when she's nervous.

"I was gunna tell you guys tomorrow because I found out like two days ago." I picked up a fry and bit into it.

"Ahh! I'm so excited for you!" She yelled.

She rose from her seat and ran towards me. She hugged me and then I knew she was crying. Leah was too.

"Guys," I frowned when Andrea sat back down. "I promise it's a good thing!"

"Why didn't you say anything during the meeting?" Leah said wiping a tear.

"Well they kinda knew. All they knew what that I was leaving soon."

"Soon?!" They both yelled bringing attention towards us.

"At the end of the month.." I said trailing off.

"How about we call everyone over my place so we can, I guess um sort this out." Andrea said putting money in the check book and getting up.

"Alright. I love you, you know that right?" I asked her.

"Of course. I love you too chica." She smiled.

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okay the numbering on every chapter was wrong so i will be stopping this book at chapter 55.

love always
ems