Charmer // Hyunlix

10 - Overwhelmed

Felix 😊: Midterms are really close...

Me: Yeah. You nervous?

Felix 😊: Kinda 😅

Me: Which subject are you most worried about?

Felix 😊: My online Korean course. I'm struggling with the formalities. 

Me: I would offer to help but I'm not sure how good of a teacher I would be...

Me: Minho would probably be your best option for help

Felix 😊: Lol, yeah you're right

Me: Haha, you should sleep Felix

Felix 😊: I know. Good night Hyunjin!

Me: Night Lix

Hyunjin threw his phone over on the bed and turned back to his desk to continue studying. However, his mind was full of many other things.

He and Felix had begun talking more after Seungmin's birthday, and they had grown close quite quickly.  Hyunjin had regretted being so cautious around the boy. It was the fastest Hyunjin had ever clicked with someone. 

However, Hyunjin was more confused than he had ever been. 

The store owner's words have been ringing in his head for the last few weeks as Hyunjin got closer to Felix. He decided to be more observant and somewhat open-minded about what he might be feeling. 

The pain in his chest he always got, it reminded him of those that people would get around their crush in all the romance books he's read. And the nauseous feeling in his stomach, he realized felt like "butterflies," also something he has read about in romance books and seen in movies. 

If Hyunjin was evaluating anyone else, he'd say they had a big crush on someone. However, this was himself experiencing these feelings, which confused and scared him. 

His whole life, Hyunjin had never been attracted to anyone. Once he learned that it meant he was aro/ace, he began going by that because it was true. But now that seemed to be changing, and Hyunjin was too scared to except the fact that he might not be what he thought he was. 

He also refused to confide in any of his friends about it, because he knew that they would get way too excited over the fact that he might have feelings for Felix and forget to help him understand his feelings. 

Naturally, Hyunjin has been getting very little sleep because of this conundrum in his head. It's been highly distracting, which was unfortunate, because midterms were right around the corner. 

Hyunjin felt lost and alone. He wasn't sure of what to do. 

As he sat at his desk and stared at the textbook in front of him, he decided on an option that seemed the best fit to him: he would ignore Felix for the time being until midterms were over to ensure Hyunjin the best possible chance to study. 

He felt bad for having to be a deliberate asshole to Felix, but he couldn't risk failing midterms because of some feelings that he was confused about. 

Finalizing the decision in his head, Hyunjin got up to take a quick shower and go to bed. He thought it'd be better to sleep on it instead of trying to study anymore that night. 

And for the first time in weeks, Hyunjin had gotten more than two hours of sleep. 

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A/N: I'm just updating whenever I can at this point because life is a mess, lol. The next couple of chapters will be quite long compared to this one, so be prepared! Thanks for still reading even though my updating schedule is now flaky. :))