Choose Me- the second novel

Chapter 8- evolving

Taylor's POV

Removing myself from his embrace is hard, Ross is holding onto me and I'm on my tip toes. Just relieved that we're no longer arguing. I pull him out to the hall before I kiss him. That would be cheating I remind myself looking at my engagement ring.

Pulling my dance shorts off in the changing rooms, I place my gym gear in my locker. We had been talking for an hour and so I decide to head to the gym tomorrow instead. Placing my skirt and boots back on, I grab my bag and my coat and emerge from the changing rooms.

Ross eyes me and smiles as I head over to him, as I begin to question why this all feels different. As if our friendship is evolving. I walk around with Ross all of the time and think nothing of it. But now as he grasps my hand and guides me towards the double doors I question everything.

The rain has completely vanished as we walk through the lane, the trees either side of us.

"What are you doing later then?" I ask as an attempt at normal conversation.

"I'm heading to Ryan's actually. There's a..." he begins.

"A party I'm guessing" I say and laugh.

"Yeah a party." He finishes softly. A party where he can smoke and drink and get with witches in velour. Honestly I'm not bitter, I have a fiancée.

"I'll see you tomorrow" I say looking up at him and removing my hand from his as we reach the opening to the parking lot. I walk ahead of him. As I begin to wonder whether he will be sleeping with Jen tonight, I question my own sanity.

Standing next to the 4x4, I hear Ross' motorbike roar and refuse to look as he drives away. I wipe my eyes again confused by the whole thing. I question in my head how much I should share with Matthew, I don't want to ruin their friendship they have only just started being friends again. And I don't want to get in the way of that, or be the cause of anymore fights. I curse Jay for opening this whole can of worms. For making me question my feelings for Ross, and ultimately for causing chaos in my head.

Standing facing the passenger door, I feel something brush my back. My brain coming to the conclusion that it must be Matthew. I turn around ready to pull him into me and hug him.

"Fancy seeing you here" Jay says and I lower my hands embarrassed. Just how many more gorgeous blonde guys is the world going to chuck at me today?

"Yes what's more strange is that you're also here when your car isn't" I say to him, he smiles, he loves a challenge.

"Are you okay? You seem more pissed than usual, bloody hell" he says laughing.

"Something I said ?" He snorts, knowing full well that my bad mood is due to him and his big mouth. I just glare at him. He's too close to me, way too close. And I'm up against the door. I want to hit him. Before I know I've acted I lift my hands impulsively and barge his shoulders back, he's not shocked at all. And he doesn't budge. He just holds still. It makes me feel even worse. Insignificant.

"Want me to fuck off just tell me, you don't have to touch me" he says hands in the air taking a step back.

"I don't want to talk to you anymore okay?" I say feeling like a three year old who's just had a falling out. His eyes watch me shocked. How can he be shocked? Does he not realise he is acting like a dumbass?

"Don't look shocked. Seriously, you fucking love winding me up. I'll expect you go right back to Jen telling her how much you got to me today, how much you pissed me off. You can go and tell her that you told me all about her and Ross and how I nearly cried, poor stupid Taylor. So leave me the fuck alone I have had enough of everybody today" I say and I'm going to cry. Where the hell is Matthew I think to myself idly. I turn around and count in my head before sobbing.

"Taylor I'm ugh sorry" he says softly hearing me cry.

"I mean it, I'm sorry. I don't talk shit to Jen, okay? I didn't mean to upset you. Im just a dickhead" he admits.

I pinch my nose and try to stop the crying. I have been overwrought since this morning and it's all coming out now, because I'm still here at university and not at home by the fire with Matthew. Jay taps my shoulder lightly and moves me to face him. I wipe my face, which is now an absolute mess.

"All's you've ever done is laugh at me and instigate arguments with me. Do not act like you care about me" I tell him and look away.

"I'm sorry." Jay says, he looks completely different wearing an earnest expression. Handsome, genuine and kind.

"What the" Matthew shouts, coming over. Recognition dawns on him as he sees my tears. Jay raises his hands in surrender. Matthew grabs him, seeing red.

"I'm sorry man I was just, look I didn't put a hand on her" Jay says to him.

"Matthew just stop it" I say to him, crying. I forcefully open the car door and climb in. If I stand out there shouting at him he won't leave Jay alone. And I can't be here anymore.

Matthew pushes him away and I notice Jay gets on the Harley Davidson next to us. I hadn't realised that it was his. He storms off and I count in my head to steady myself.

Matthew gets in the car and exhales, rolls a cigarette whilst steadying his breath and lights up. Opening his bag he pulls out a sandwich that he bought me, and a chocolate cookie. He hands it to me wordlessly.

This is not how I wanted this to go, I wanted nothing more than to hug him and kiss him and now he is too pissed off to even speak to me. I open up the sandwich realising how hungry I am.

"Are you okay ? What happened ?" He asks me softly.

"It's a long story, he was just winding me up and I've had enough of today can we just go home please. I just want to be home with you" I tell him imploring him to take me back home away from all of the drama.

Once we're on the road heading back to our home, he glances out of the windshield. Anger emanating from him. I brush his thigh with my hand and he softens.

"Thanks for the food" I tell softly.

"Taylor" he begins turning the music down.

"I would kill him if he hurt you" he says glaring out of the window.

"I know" I say to him brushing his thigh again.

He reverses onto our drive, and we walk up to the porch together the rain beating down on us again.bi climb up the stairs as he follows me wordlessly. Pulling his arms around me in the bathroom I pull his clothes off whilst kissing him. Once we've removed everything he stands under the beating shower with me, just holding onto me.

Matthew turns me around and rubs my back. He moves my hair over and kisses my neck. His hands find my breasts as they always do. He circles my nipples and I'm moaning his name. I watch as his hand traces down and rests between my legs. Resting name back into him, he plays with me.

"Come for me baby" he whispers in my ear and I breathlessly find my relief with him.

"I love you" he tells me pulling me to face him again. His hands holding onto each side of my face, all of my questions and worries disappear as I look into his green eyes. Telling myself that I have the love of my life right in front of me.

"I'm so happy we're here and home together" I whisper looking up at him.

"You're everything to me" I tell him as his eyes search mine.

"I love you Matthew James Henderson" I say just before he kisses me fervently.