Choose Me- the second novel

Chapter 7 - wanting you and not having you

Taylor's POV

Carter wraps up and I pack up, everything. Quickly shrugging on my coat intent on not talking to either of them. As I sit with my bag on my lap just waiting for the lecturer to shut up Jay eyes me and smirks.

Realising I've either got to walk past Jay on my left or Ross on my right to get out, I curse myself for sitting in between them and not alone at the back.

"Psst talk to me after?" Jay whispers as Carter is still rambling on. I shoot him a glare, wiping my eyes slightly. Cursing myself again for having such strong emotions, and for crying at every single darn thing. Why does it feel like betrayal? Why does it feel like he's hurt me when he's not even mine?

The lecture ends, finally. Holding onto my bag I stand up.
"Talk to me please" Ross says softly before moving out of my way. He's not mine, I have no right to shout at him. I look at him in his eyes briefly. He's searching mine, cursing at my tears.

"About what? Do whatever you want" I say before walking past him. I will push him out of the way if I have to. I have no right to tell him what to do, and right now I'm so angry that I will do just that. It's not my place to lecture him on any girl that he dates.

Refusing to look back, I march my way out to the corridor. Pushing through the hall in my louboutins I head out of the large oak double doors and head straight to dance. Changing methodically, and folding up my clothes, I pull on the dance shorts before texting Matthew. Explaining that I will head to the gym after dance, and asking him to meet me by the car. I don't want to see Ross, at all.

Dance flies by we are practising in the open stage area. I throw myself into the routine and gain myself lead dancer of the performance, at least something good came out of this new revelation. It almost stops me from seeing Jen's face in my minds eye smirking and telling me she's slept with every guy I've been close to countless times. I hate her. With a passion.

At the end of practice the other dancers in my class begin stretching and one by one filter off to the changing rooms. I watch girls turn their heads to the seating and looking up I notice the reason for all of their stares. Ross in his pale blue shirt, sits down at the top and waits for me.

I continue practising, blanking him out. I have a lead role to fulfil and he is not my man neither my problem, I tell myself. I stretch off at the end on the barre, the only dancer left. He waited me out, of course he did and so I begin walking towards him.

"What?" I say sulking, taking the seat next to him.

"I'm sorry" he tells me straight away.

"Ross you can get with whoever you like. It's not up to me." I tell him. I feel so angry that it's her, Rachel would have been fine. But Jen, he can do better. He should know better.

"No I'm sorry. I just know you have a history with her," he begins and I look at him angrily.

"A history? You mean she tried to humiliate me at every chance she could get, she ridiculed me in front of everyone. She's a waste of space" I say angrily pulling my hair out of the high ponytail.

"It's not anything Tay. She just was there" he says pushing his hair back with his hands.

"How many times was she just there?" I ask him, briefly thinking about how we've never even had sex.

"I haven't been counting, I guess about nine or ten times" he admits looking at me.

"Well when then was the first time?" I ask, if it was anywhere near the party then I might just slap him.

"It was around five days maybe a week after what happened " he says softly. I deserve this for messing with him, for leading him on I put my head in my hands and wipe my face. Grateful that I bought makeup with me to freshen up, after this is over.