Choose Me- the second novel

Chapter 84 - we had the time of our lives

Jays POV

The Audi roars to life as I press the start engine button and reverse out of my drive. An invitation from Matthew is a big deal, perhaps he's just being a best friend that is worried about my mental wellbeing, I laugh to myself. Knowing for sure that he wants to suss me out. He wants to watch me around Taylor, work out firstly why she stood up for me and secondly why the hell I'm apologising to a girl.

Replaying the moment as I drive towards the highway, Jane standing before me and me telling Taylor to get back. Taylor ignoring me and Jane shoving her into Ross with force. I had been so close to shoving her back, my reactions just too slow. The fact that Jane is a girl made me think twice before physically touching her and Taylor paid the price for my hesitation.

Glancing out at the falling snow I realise that Taylor means something to me, the absolute worry and concern I experienced when she was winded. The pain at not being able to talk to her afterwards. Taylor has gotten under my cold exterior and allowed me to feel something for her. I had believed that showing her that I could be in a relationship with somebody would allow her to see me as an option. A guy like Ross that can have a relationship with women rather than flings and one night stands. However my outstanding ability of messing things up continually, means that my plans have failed.

So resolutely as I turn into the suburban road where Matthew lives, I decide upon something. Something that will change her perspective of me, something that scares me beyond belief. I decide no more games. At all. I will be myself around her, and it terrifies me because being myself around anybody is daunting. Yet it is the only option I have left. Should it not work then I guess I'll move to Australia, somewhere that she doesn't exist. But boldly from now on I will just be me, the person that makes his mother coffees and enjoys buying art. The guy that is his father's son whether he likes it or not, a business minded individual. The person that is scared of relationships because of the turbulence between his own mother and father throughout his childhood, the insecurities and the playfulness all rolled into one.

Securing the car on the drive, I hop out and climb the wooden porch up to Matthew's door. Cursing myself for not bringing some kind of gift like wine. If I know Taylor she will have cooked. Tapping on the knocker and pushing my hair back, I pull my Barbour jacket around me and wait.

As Taylor invites me in, I take in the scents of her cooking and smile genuinely, she just smiles as Matthew walks through the hall and greets me like a best friend would.

"Jay" she says softly and I eye her checked shirt which is loose and most definitely Matthew's. Her scooped up in a ponytail as she walks her bare legs over to me.

"I made pie" she laughs walking through to the kitchen as Matthew follows her.

"Smells incredible" I comment as she hands me a beer and smiles. Matthew opens his own beer and watches me, inspecting my body language.

"Honestly, it's almost done" she smiles over at him.

"Take a seat I'll bring it all over" she says and he smiles down at her.

Matthew takes the head of the table and I sit on the wooden chair next to him, my back to the fire with a view over the whole kitchen as Taylor moves around and I watch her for a brief second.

"Taylor said you bought some art" Matthew comments and I look at him smiling.

"A print which has taken my eye for a while now" I tell him, I pull my phone out and show him the print I've bought. It's a landscape, serene with blues and greys. He comments on it launching into a conversation about art, which I allow him to take the lead in.