Choose Me- the second novel

Chapter 90- rest, eat and give yourself time

Taylor's POV

It's not possible I think to myself as I feel the heat on my cheeks, the pain in my lower belly.

"It's okay" I tell myself aloud, clinging onto the crisp white sheets that are stained with blood. My blood I think to myself, this is not okay I cry.

"Matthew" I call out.

"It's not okay" I repeat continuously gazing around at my surroundings and not recognising the white clinical walls, the steel medical tray sitting on the side. A curtain with little blue and grey dots on it surrounding the bed I'm laying in.

"Please" I cry hearing nothing in return.

***

Unsurprisingly Matthew awakes me with concern shadowing his face, curls tousled down over his forehead as he wipes my eyes. I cling onto him and he holds me close in bed, gazing down at the pale blue sheets I sigh breathing in slowly.

"You were calling out for me and crying" he whispers kissing my lips.

"A horrible nightmare" I say shaking my head as he rubs down my back.

"I'm here" he whispers and I look up at him smiling, relief washes over me as it dawns on me that I'm not in a hospital suite with blood all over me.

"I love you and our little baby" I tell him clinging onto him, losing is not an option now. The grief and the sadness of my dream looms over me as he strokes my face with his fingertips.

"We do not have to go in today, my love. Rest day ? Watching your favourite movies I'll even cook us another roast" he smiles.

"Rest day" I smile up at him, he sold the idea to me perfectly. Matthew explains that he's going to cook me breakfast as I slide out of the bed noticing that my legs feel heavy. The pregnancy has raised my body temperature and today I feel hot. Unusually warm, I scoop my curls up and tie them away from my neck.

My body convulses as I stand and double over in pain. Images of blood run through my mind, telling me to panic. I call out for Matthew and he is at my side, instantly. Grasping onto my waist, we walk over to the bathroom through the hall. The pain searing as I hold onto my waist bent over his arms around me.

"Matthew" I cry as he holds onto me, reassuring me and holding me up. Removing my shirt and the underwear I'm wearing with no hesitation I feel bump and the pain surrounding my belly, before I notice gazing down through my legs at the blood. My blood, staining the tops of my thighs.

I kneel down moving my clothes out of my way and sob. This is not just spotting I think clearly as I burn up on the bathroom floor. Why? I think to myself in despair, what have I done wrong now? Cursing and crying as I realise that I have lost two babies, two babies that would grow into my beautiful children. Two miracles that would call me mom and Matthew daddy. Two babies that would be our twins, our lives shatter before me. All of our dreams, and the future we were creating together.

"It's okay I'm here" he whispers his hands around me pulling me into his lap.

"I love you" he comforts me kissing my neck and the side of my face. Of one thing that I am positive, Matthew is in turmoil too but he is managing his emotions, he is being strong for me. We are both aware exactly of what this means.

Pulling me to face him, he cradles my face in his hands and I watch his eyes through my blurry vision.

"Taylor" he says softly.

"I did something? How did I fuck it up?" I whisper.

"I lost both" I say and he shh's me caressing my back and holding onto me.