Choose Me- the second novel

Chapter 57- avoidant attachment issues

Taylor's POV

Both Jay and myself were discharged before visiting hours, before anybody else arrived. The time for our little hospital escape ending, he holds my bags down to the foyer and I walk happily next to him as many nurses eye him up. Matthew is on his way with the car and so we wait together, I expect him to usher me outside into the snow for a cigarette however he finds a booth in the the small cafe and buys me a coffee.

Setting it down in front of me he takes a seat over the opposite side and I tell my body to shut up as it craves being near him, closer. I gaze into his blue, grey eyes as he sips his espresso watching me.

"Taylor" he laughs slightly setting the coffee cup down.

"Stop flirting with your eyes" he laughs.

"I am not" I explain softly and he chortles.

"So you and Rachel huh?" I ask openly and he laughs his head falling back.

"Stop it you heard the whole entire thing earlier" he laughs and I smile.

"That's not working itself out any time soon" he smiles and I laugh looking down at my coffee.

"What" he says watching me think. I consider how their relationship was fine until I made problems for him. Our intimacy and how it's grown, the convolution of my inner most thoughts and feelings growing. How being with Matthew is so right for me, yet spending time with Jay has become second nature, like breathing. None of this adds up; it's not supposed to be.

"I was thinking about how I am the problem in all of this, had I of just left everything alone Rachel and you would not have fought. And before any of that Ross wouldn't have fallen off of his bike. I am the problem in all of these things" I explain looking into my cup.

"You are not a problem" he explains softly.

"You're the solution to all of them actually" he smiles and I shake my head.

"You're the solution always to Rachel losing her shit over nothing, you found Ross and saved his life. You are the solution to my stress and my avoidant issues" he laughs.

"Avoidant attachment issues" I laugh.

"That's the one, so thank you" he explains as my phone bleeps a message from Matthew, saying that he's outside.

"Before we go." Jay says urgently finding my hand across the booth and holding it.

"I care at all times, even if you just want to yammer on about something. I care" he smiles and I nod unbelieving.

Jay takes charge and carries my small duffle out as I follow him; my body still feeling worse for wear, what with my wrists and the aches I'm experiencing all over my body.

Matthew hops out of his 4x4 crosses, around the back and pulls me into his arms instantly as I approach the car. I flinch laughing and he apologises for squeezing me so hard.

"You're okay, thank God you're okay" he says and I smile. He sets me down into the passenger side as Jay climbs in the back with the bags.

"Jay how are you man" Matthew asks looking through the interior mirror at his friend.

"I'm all good man, I just feel like shit for it all happening" he explains and I smile shooting a glance at him.