Cassandra is panicking.
She knows the boat has arrived, but she needs a moment to breathe. Rather than heading towards the dock, she is standing alone in the dark jungle.
Her heart is working overtime in her chest. She can't seem to intake enough oxygen. Her knees feel wobbly and weak. She braces herself against a palm tree, leaning her forehead against its rough trunk.
She can't believe it. She can't believe she was about to kiss Varian. And as if that wasn't unbelievable enough...
She wanted to.
She actually wanted to kiss Varian.
The exact reason why is difficult for her to pinpoint. He was saying all those things about her. She was opening up to him like never before, and he was really listening. He was genuinely caring and concerned. Something in the air just felt right. She felt... safe. Safer than she's ever felt around anyone else.
Could I... Could I actually be developing feelings for Varian?
The thought stirs her emotions in a way she has never experienced. She has always tried to avoid all of that touchy-feely, mushy stuff. She needs to hold an air of strength about her. She doesn't want to appear weak or soft.
But somehow, Varian seems to have chipped away at that wall she has upheld for so long. Now, she doesn't mind the thought of lightening up on occasion. As long as it's with him.
Will she ever get to that point, though? She is about to hyperventilate over almost kissing him. What would have happened if she had went ahead and kissed him?
She has experienced debilitating fear before. But this... This is a different kind of fear. It's a fear of what the future may hold. A fear of being unable to give what she should. Is a romantic relationship something she is even capable of?
Is a romantic relationship with Varian something she is capable of?
Her thoughts are interrupted when she hears the sound of footsteps approaching. She doesn't have to guess who they belong to...
"What are you doing out here?" Abhu asks. "Hasn't the boat arrived yet?"
"Yes it has, I'm just taking a moment for myself!" She snaps. Now that she knows how Abhu truly sees her, she doesn't feel the need to hold anything back around him.
"Okay, sheesh," Abhu says. "Let's just get off this rock."
"Gladly." Cassandra pushes herself away from the tree, and stomps through the jungle with Abhu in tow.
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I'm Done Holding Back
FanfictionA Cassarian Story Varian always knew that he cared for Cassandra. But he didn't realize how much until she was gone. Six long years after Cassandra leaves Corona, she finally returns. Varian is overjoyed, but she comes bearing terrible news. A stran...