Love in the Shadows

Chapter Three

(Lucy's POV)

My legs ate up the ground as I made my way towards the raven haired woman holding out a Starbucks cup to me. I took it with a grumble of "Thanks."

"Now, now, Lucy. It was you that reached out to me. No need for the attitude."

I let the cup warm up my chilled hands as I moved, assuming she would follow. She spoke up from next to me, letting me know that I wasn't getting away from this conversation. The smile was still on her face as she kept up with me easily. "Walking with a purpose I see today."

Trying to run away from my feelings, thanks.

I knew she would have a field day with that one, so instead, I took a sip and immediately cringed at the overwhelmingly sweet taste. "Pumpkin Spice, really?" My bitchiness grated on my own nerves but she didn't seem to mind.

I took a deep breath, letting the crisp Autumn air ease me. "I'm sorry, I'm not meaning to be an asshole. I know I scheduled this session and that we need to talk but it's not easy. This one was hard."

I took another sip of the coffee and ignored the ache in my teeth. "Thank you for the coffee."

Her laugh was hearty and made me smile as she gave me a nudge. "I figured you might need the extra calories."

I let my eyes trace down my curvy form and raised my eyebrows at the slim woman in front of me. "I'm thrice your size on a good day."

She stopped walking for a moment and looked deep in thought. "I don't think thrice should be used like that." She got a second smile out of me, which was two more than I had managed in the last week and I knew I had made the right move calling her.

"It goes to show how well you know me, food tastes like sawdust right now." I was one hundred percent certain this was the first time that stress and emotion had turned me away from food. Normally, I fell into all the tasty morsels, letting them comfort me to my very core. I had always fallen into the emotional eater category, until now.

"Well I should hope so, you pay me enough." She then gently said, "it's normal Lucy. Everything you are feeling is normal and you are okay to feel that way. You know that right?"

I turned onto one of the many trails that High Park offered and thought about what she was saying. I'd always liked that she was never shy to mention the fact that I was paying her for her time. Serena had been my therapist for about four years. Her father for a decade plus, before that. When she'd taken over her fathers practice, I had considered switching but then I met her, we clicked and I never looked back.

She let me mull over my thoughts as we took in the new and fiery colours of the leaves. It made me think of Sam's hair and my heart sped up. There was a good chance I was going to see him this weekend.

Friends. Lucy, You're just friends.

I bit my lip and pushed him to the corners of my mind.

Now, if only he would stay there.

"Thank you for meeting me out here. It makes it easier." High Park was one of my all time favourite locations in Toronto. It offered a plethora of outdoor activities and when I was at my worst, I could spend a day soaking in the sun and trying to let nature soak away my pain.

The best thing about Serena was that she wasn't confined to her office. Her dad had been more of a traditionalist. In the sense that it had often been me in the chair or couch, just talking. Serena was more liberal and unconventional.

I found I thrived on the connection that she built between us. It was a dialogue, a back and forth that helped me because I knew she really cared. She also wasn't scared to share the things happening in her own life, no matter how painful. For me, it helped build trust. It had worked and I had thrived under the bond that she had built.