Love in the Shadows

Chapter Thirty-Four

(Sam's POV)

A foul taste lingered in my mouth as we walked out of the Sanchez house. My memories were mixing with the current investigation and had created a storm cloud over my mood.

Wanting to revel in the good, even for a second I walked Lucy to the passenger side of the truck, helping her inside, invading her space in the best possible way. "Thank you for being here."

I reached across, snapping her seatbelt into place and dipping my head down to run my lips over hers, adding to my words. Her answering smile lit up the truck and I made my way over to the driver's side, a whole heck of a lot happier.

When I sat down, Lucy pulled out her phone. "Stephen told us he saw her at home the night she disappeared, that she sent him a snapchat from her room that night."

How had I forgotten that?

I considered what she was saying. "I don't see a reason why he would have lied. So if she was home that night why was our friend Barbara lying?"

She laughed at my emphasis on friend and declared, "That's what I'd like to know." Then she was talking to Charlie, arranging the warrant needed in order for Snapchat to give us access to their backlog.

Not wanting to interrupt her, I pulled into a Tim Hortons and left her in the truck talking so that I could go in and get us both a coffee. I quickly added two of the sprinkled donuts from the case. I needed a healthy dose of sprinkles to combat the darkness of my thoughts.

By the time I got back in and handed hers over, she was off the phone. "Thank you." She took a sip, sighing as she asked "Both families had a connection to Crossroads, should we head over there and talk to Minister Mel? Get his story?"

I'd been thinking the same thing. "Sounds like a plan to me."

The truck was quiet on the drive over, Lucy had her head resting on the window and it was evident that everything was catching up to her. My chest felt heavy with guilt. "I'm sorry, I know you're supposed to be recouping right now."

Her eyes opened and surprise was evident as she said earnestly, "Sam, none of this is your fault and I wouldn't want you doing this without me."

Lucy's back went ramrod straight as I pulled into the Crossroads Lakeridge parking lot, letting out a sharp whistle and pointing. "Seems inline with what they say about Crossroads."

I agreed. "Yup. This is one of their many churches, we would need to look it up to know for sure but I'm pretty sure that there are over ten in Ontario alone."

Silence overtook as I parked and we both focused on the ostentatious building in front of us. We sat for a moment and she gave a shake of her head as her eyes met mine, " I've heard that their churches are big and beautiful, but holy shit this is like a castle."

She wasn't wrong. "It's a lot, right?"

She hmmmed her agreement, and then once more turned towards me tucking those dark curls behind her ears, "I've also heard that they ask a lot of their members?"

"My mom and aunt go and I can attest. They expect attendance at events as well as monetary contributions. That being said both of them love it and feel that Crossroads is the best part of this community. I've been to a few functions with them when I'm home and it's always a good time." I took off my seatbelt and reached into the brown bag holding our goods. "Donut?"

Her eyes lit up and she danced a little in her seat making me want to lean in and kiss her one more time. I didn't know how someone who faced so much darkness, managed to stay so upbeat all the damn time.

We ate quietly gazing out around us. Once she was done, she gestured out into the vast space in front of us. "This is bigger than most supermarket parking lots."

Probably twice the size of the lot at the Lake Ridge Metro. "It's the closest church around, so it tends to bring in people from outside town as well."

She looked around again, silent and still, with her seatbelt still done up. I wasn't sure what we were waiting for but had already figured out that we worked best when I gave her time to process. When she finally spoke again, I was glad that I hadn't rushed her. "My dad was a member of our town church."

I turned my body fully so that I could look at her. Not wanting to shut down wherever this was headed. "Yeah?"

She nodded thoughtfully, "He was a member of anything and everything that would be going on in town." I hated the sadness that pulled at her features as she continued. "I'm sure you already know, my dad wasn't your typical psychopath. He was gregarious and energetic. The life of the party."

It didn't feel right to be hearing about a killer that I had studied. About a case that fascinated most police. To be learning more from someone who would have known him so well, from Lucy, who somehow was a little rainbow of positivity. Lucy, who rebounded from bad news and darkness with smiles and kindness. I was sure that she was the strongest woman that I had ever met and swallowed the lump of emotion in my throat. I reached out and linked our hands together, not wanting to interrupt her but also wanting her to know, I wasn't going anywhere.

"I preferred it when we were in public. At home with me, the mask slipped, he wanted nothing to do with me. I was invisible. In hindsight, I know now that's the preferable option. That there are worse things but, I could never understand why. Why did he love everyone else but not me? Why was I not enough? Then, I figured out that he was incapable of love, that he thrived on destruction, and it was all too much." Her voice was quiet and I wanted to rub the ache in my chest, instead, I grasped her hand, letting my thumb rub over hers repeatedly.

Her words stopped and I floundered, needing for her to know that I was here, that I was listening, "Did you and your mom keep going to church after?"

Her response made me wish that I hadn't asked, that we weren't here right now. "They didn't want us."

I growled and Lucy squeezed our fingers. "My mom lingered in the same town, I've never understood why. We became pariahs. Especially me, it was as if I was the spawn of Satan and people needed to stay far away from me, for their own safety."

"Because you two were helping your dad kill people?" I couldn't help interrupting or keep the edge out of my voice. "Fuck. It never ceases to surprise me how shitty people can be."

She scoffed in agreement. "Right? Anyway the church didn't exactly make themselves welcoming to us. Nobody did."

I was all but snarling now and her fingers caressed my own, soft and gentle, as if she was trying to reassure me. She smiled a little, "It's what made me want to become a police officer, along with wanting to make a difference, obviously. It was also an extra fuck you to anyone who ever painted me with the same brush as him."

She gave a shaky laugh. "Sorry. Quite the day of sharing, eh?"

I unlaced our fingers and caressed the side of her face. "I'll always want to hear anything that you want to share and talking to you earlier was exactly what I needed. I'll repay the favor any time." She nuzzled into my hand, as I asked, "You okay?"

"No. But, I will be. The same way that you're struggling with the memories of being back here I struggle with the small-town judgement that we are finding here. You would think by now in this day and age, people could learn to stay in their own fucking lanes. That they'd realise the damage that they can cause."

She sighed and undid her seatbelt and I sat there quiet. God damn it, I really liked this woman.

I stopped her as she was about to get out, wanting to share what I knew of the man she was about to meet. "Mel Hartman has been a minister here for 15 years. Townspeople love him. He's good friends with just about everybody, enjoys a beverage at the local watering hole, but that I know of doesn't seem to step out of line. As we saw this morning he's also pretty tight with the Chief of Police, so that might not be saying much."

She opened her own door, and met me in front of my truck. Our hands slid together as if they belonged together, fingers intertwined. "Let's get a read on him ourselves then, yah?"