Love in the Shadows

Chapter Seven

(Lucy's POV)

I stared at Sam laughing across the table and felt butterflies dance throughout my stomach.

First dates weren't supposed to go this well, were they?

There was no doubt in my mind that it was, in fact, a date. He had gone out of his way at every turn, to show me he was interested. Opening doors, hand holding, light touches on the small of my back.

I tried to tame my fluttery heart.

Don't get too far ahead of yourself.

Life had taught me that when things seemed too good to be true, an explosion was imminent. I shouldn't let the butterflies carry me away.

He pushed the negative thoughts out of my mind as he reached out and touched my hand gently, playing with my fingers as he finished his story. "So he hopped on the bar top and started serenading the whole bar."

I laughed, he had told me a few stories about his best friend and cousin, Wolfe. "It's really nice that you're so close to your family."

He let go of my hand to take a sip of his beer, swallowing hard. "Yah, it's not my whole family. Me and my dad grew apart as I got older, different values. He didn't accept when my brother, Nate let us know he was transitioning to my sister." He shrugged but the clenching of his jaw let me know how important this was to him. "My mom and my sister Natalie are wonderful." He snorted. "Then there's Wolfe and he's in a class all of his own. It's hard not to love him but he's always been a bit wild and I make sure to always stay on my toes any time we're together. Especially if he gets a drop of booze in his system. You never know where he's going to take you."

The love he had for his cousin was quite evident in his tone and I took a sip of beer to try to distract myself from the fact that my cheeks ached from their natural reaction of spending time with him.

With each moment we spent together, he got that much more attractive. His white teeth flashed easily and often, a laugh always at the ready.

Sitting across from him, gave me the freedom to devour him with my eyes, and it couldn't even be deemed as creepy. He was talking wasn't he? So, I listened and watched. I'd always loved his hair. It was a colour that I'd never seen on anyone else. Deep auburn and streaked with a few lighter strands, I always thought of fire when I was around him.

His dark tan contrasted beautifully with his evergreen eyes. I had known from my first look at Sam, years ago, that he was an outdoorsy guy. His sun kissed skin, sun streaks, dusting of freckles and woodsy scent all gave him away. Not to mention the fact that his muscles didn't look like he got them at the gym. I wasn't exactly sure what the difference was, all I knew was he was an absolute pleasure to look at.

We were interrupted as Addy dropped off our meals. She was Jon's head bartender and a good friend of Josie's and so we knew each other quite well. As she set down my burger, she caught my eye and wiggled her eyebrows. I shook my head at her nonsense and she gave a wink, throwing over her shoulder, "you two flag me down if you need anything, okay?"

Then she was gone and I looked down at the giant burger in front of me. "You really thought this was what I should get?" Sam was already diving into his and nodded around an insanely large bite.

When we had been looking at the menu he had asked me if I liked spice and then recommended the angry burger. His encouragement to eat something that was in no way healthy, had thrown me. I wasn't a twig of a woman. My curves were generous and I had gone on more than one last date with a man, who had assumed because of my shapely body that I was dieting. I figured that it was only fair, that that was the last assumption they got to make about me.

I had long ago decided that I wouldn't conform to society's definition of beauty. I was just naturally larger than most women and in order to not be, I had to starve myself. I wasn't willing to do that. There were many reasons, starting with my own health, both mental and physical. There was beauty in all body types and I had worked hard to love myself.

Plus, I liked food. Alot.

In our time of being friends, Sam hadn't ever made me feel anything but beautiful and tonight that was especially true. Suggesting that I order the biggest burger on the menu, only helped to cement that. It was refreshing.

As I took a bite, flavour erupted over my tastebuds and I added one more point to Sam's escalating list of positives.

He pointed a curly fry at me. "Try these." He scooped a handful of fries and dropped them on my plate. My smile froze in place as he asked his next question. "Okay, so what about your family? I don't think I've ever heard you talk about them."

I took a sip of beer, my throat all of a sudden desert dry. My eyes met his, and I saw no hint of mockery, awareness or suspicion.

Shit. He doesn't have any idea.

I hadn't ever had very good luck with honesty. That being said, I didn't want to start whatever was going on here with a lie. It felt too ripe with possibilities.

"Have you ever heard of Carl Baylor?"

His eyes widened. I had never changed my name, so I would imagine he was already putting it together. When I was younger my mom hadn't let me and then by the time I could make the choice myself I just didn't care anymore.

If anything, I let it weed out the riff raff. If you were to judge someone for the sins of their father, you weren't someone I wanted to have in my life. But, as I discovered with Trigg, Baylor was a common enough name and it was far enough in the past that not everyone put it together.

Sam seemed to be waiting for me to continue and when I left it hanging, he finally spoke up. "I think all Canadian law enforcement are familiar with Carl Baylor."

He wasn't wrong. It was a case that was studied by police as we were coming up, an example of multiple area's working together and through sheer tenacity, catching the bad guy.

"Well, this Canadian Police Officer is a little more than familiar. He was my dad."

Sam ran a hand through his hair and I took another drink, not sure how this was going to go. "Jeez and I thought my dad was a shit. I'm sorry Lucy, I had no idea. I know this is just our first date so we don't need to talk about it but if you ever do... you know, want to talk about it. I'm here."

I nodded, had he just said first date? "Thanks. I appreciate it and I'll take you up on it another time. I'm just going to go to the bathroom."

He looked relieved. Whether it was the fact that I didn't want to talk about it anymore or that I would take him up on it another time, I couldn't be sure. I hated this part of getting to know someone. He gave me a small smile and touched my hand again as I got up. "Want me to order you another beer."

I answered with a smile and a nod and made my way to the bathroom needing a break and a reset to our night. As I made my way through the door and took in my reflection, I was surprised at the rosy glow on my cheeks. I was happy and reasonably certain that I only had to be in his vicinity to be blushing. I just needed to put that conversation out of my head. 

Don't let the past destroy your night.

As I made my way back to the table, I immediately noticed a change in Sam. He took my hand as I sat down. "Look, can we take a rain check for that next beer? Tash just called and I've got to go home, she needs my help."

I stared at him blankly, feeling those butterflies turn to rocks and sink. My squirrly thoughts racing through my brain.

It was ten o'clock at night, what kind of help did she need?

Convenient timing. 

Here we go again.

I forced a smile, knowing that a next beer would never actually happen. "Of course."