But if I'm not? {Tommyinnit au}

Revisiting hell. Yeah.

Father&Son Moment :3

"I don't want to go there again."
"Come on. That's like... the twenty-fifth time you've said that, mate. I heard you."
"But why are we still on our way there then?"

Phil sighed. "How many times do I have to say that? We're on our way to the orphanage so I can legally adopt you."
I pressed myself against the car window, and looked with a miserable gaze at the landscape outside.

"But I don't want to," I murmured.

"Listen here. We'll only go here once, and then you'll never have to see that place again. I'll be with you the whole time, and I promise not to leave you." Phil looked back at me in the passenger seat for a few moments, before returning his gaze to the road.

I gave him an anxious look. Even though everything was cleared up, I still had some problems.

After all, Wilbur and Techno hadn't beaten me to death when Phil had brought me back to the house. Sure, they'd been a little awkward at first, but Phil hadn't cared about that.

Phil had said that he wanted to adopt me, make sure I would be safe for the rest of my life, and never have to fear that Dream would torture me for my powers. His voice had been thick with some kind of eagerness, and I had seen something in his blue eyes that had convinced me that he wasn't lying.
Somehow this person liked me, even though all I did was deceive him. Something about his kindness, his calmness and his protective nature had made me quickly attached to - and trust - Phil.
Although, it had taken a long time for Phil to manage to pry out of me which orphanage I came from. The fear of returning remained hard in me.

But now we were on our way there  so that Phil could sign the papers confirming my adoption. Throughout the trip I had felt uneasy. When I discovered that my 'no you're the Big Tommyinnit who's afraid of nothing' tactic was no longer working, I'd tried to tell myself it was just motion sickness.

When I looked out, I recognized several names on different signs, and the houses were familiar. We were approaching our destination.

Phil turned a corner, and suddenly the brick building towered over us. The metal fence, the bolted gate, that depressed feeling of broken hearts and loneliness. 

The anxiety I felt during the trip became a hundred times stronger. The feeling of being trapped drowned everything until it was the only thing that was there. Breathing suddenly became difficult, and I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and gripped the seat belt with a convulsive grip. Every part of me screamed 'Don't go in there!'

I heard Phil get out, and his footsteps coming around the car, to my side of the passenger seat.

"Tommy, are you alright?" I heard his concerned voice.
I glanced furtively up at him, before looking down again. Shame crept up on me.
I shouldn't feel like this, like I was a disobedient child who had been caught.
Phil's warm hand rested on my shoulder, and I felt his dark blue eyes search mine.

"Tommy." His familiar voice was comforting. "I don't know what memories you have of this place, but they don't seem to be very nice ones. Try to breathe. In, out, just like that. No need to rush, take your time. Everything is alright."

Slowly I looked up at him. His face radiated a warming joy, as if I had just managed to break the world record in something, and not that I had started breathing normally. It was the look, I realized, that he always had when he looked at Wilbur and Techno. And me.

I took one last deep breath before standing up.

"I'm ready."

Phil smiled. "Take my hand, so you always know I'm near."

I accepted the extended hand gratefully, and walked together towards the horrible building. (NO SHIPPING HERE THAT'S GROSS)

I cast nervous glances around me. Everything was uncomfortably familiar. Every corner was stained with memories. When I was in L'manburg I hadn't thought about it, but now that I was here... everything felt so much more real.

I let Phil's firm hand lead me up to the office.

When we got to the door, Phil stopped and looked at me.

"It'll only take a minute. And remember, I won't let you go. Breathing might be beneficial to you, too."

I giggled a little weakly at his joke, before Phil knocked on the door.

It was opened almost immediately, as if the headmistress had been waiting for us behind the door.

"You're most welcome, Mr. Minecraft," she said with a cheerful voice and a slightly exaggerated smile. "We're happy to have you here."

"So am I, Ms. Chappell," Phil replied, a little withdrawn. "It's kind of you to let me come."

"Oh, it's nothing to talk about. We'll take all-"

At the last word Ms Chappell caught sight of me, half hidden behind Phil's black wings. In an instant, her easygoing expression fell, and her face turned red.

"Tommy!" she screamed, and in the next second I felt her hard fingers on my forearm, and her cruel face close to mine. "How dare you-"

"Ms Chappell, step back." For the first time Phil's voice was angry. "He is my son, so don't touch him."

I didn't know if they had heard me whine.

Ms. Chappell tore her hand away, and glared at Phil. "Tommy is just a useless brat that nobody cares enough about to even remember his name. He's an orphan at my orphanage, and I'm in charge of him."

"I think you just got Tommy's name right there. He is not a brat, but my son, and I've come here to sign the adoption papers, just like I said on the phone call."

Ms Chappell looked like she was trying to swallow a lemon, before she said in a strained calm voice.

"Of course I know. Let's get it done."

She gestured for Phil to come with her, and after an encouraging look from Phil, I followed them both, after some hesitation.

"Primes, that woman was a like a living nightmare!" Phil exclaimed as soon as we got into the car. "I... I understand why you were so scared before," he continued in a calmer tone, and with a soft look at me.

Scared. Scared was a word that had actually described me for a long time, even though I denied it.

I had, I realized, been scared deep inside even in my happiest moments, because the fear and the lump in my stomach had always returned. Always lied to make everyone think I was fine. Always been afraid that the secret would get out.

And now, when Phil had officially adopted me, it was like... I was done with it. I had started over, and everything would be different now.

I smiled.

"Tommy?" Phil said suddenly.

"Yes?"

"How about we go shopping for you on our way home? After all, when the holiday is over you'll start school."

"Huh?"

"But I've said that several times!" chuckled Phil. "You'll be starting at the same school as Wilbur and Techno! And Ranboo and Tubbo are there too, of course."

"But..." It took me a few seconds to find the words. "As a shapeshifter, I already know everything! I don't need 'school' or 'teaching' or other nonsense."

"Sure about that? Because I'm not."
"But please dad! I'm sure school would be great fun and all that, but if you just thought about it-"
Oh, but I've been thinking about that ever since I saw you. And school is actually compulsory, you know."
"Dad!"

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This was the last part. No nore chpters after this ._.

Thank for reading. I love you guys ❤️

no I really mean it. tysm for making it though the fanfic, i hope you didn't think it was too boring in the end.

LOVE YA

- da_internet_cat