Roommates with Benefits [18+ only]

52. Define rough

I meant it, princess ... I miss you

Leave it to Aaron to always be so straightforward. Being such an indecisive person, when we dated I appreciated that he was so determined and clear about everything. He always knew what he wanted and worked to get it without hesitation. For someone like me, who spends hours trying to decide what to buy or what to eat, it came in handy. At the same time, it made me lazy, because he was able to make decisions in a few minutes, while I've always been more careful.

I didn't reply right away, also because I didn't know what to say exactly. I'd only contacted Aaron to congratulate him for his new job, nothing more than that. Then he went and confessed something like that. I mean, yes, for a moment I wondered whether it was a sign of fate, especially because I've sometimes found myself wondering what would have happened, had Aaron and I met at a different time in my life.

But it wouldn't be right. I've never even understood why he was in love with me. We were fine, but there was no real passion. I mean, sure, the sex was great, but in the end, we lacked a deeper connection, I think. Ironically, we had so many things in common, yet we didn't quite connect.

Nevertheless, I shouldn't have texted him. Kelly would probably scold me, reminding me that you do not, ever, text your ex, and if you really have to, always be clear about what you want. I bit my lips. I guess that even a simple Hey ... could be misread as an attempt at reigniting our flame, especially when the recipient wanted exactly that.

"Hey, baby."

I literally screeched, sitting up abruptly, when I heard Lukas' voice coming from my door. "Jesus ..." I wheezed, hand over my heart, which I sincerely hoped was racing fast because of the scare and not because he looked as sexy as ever. He wore simple faded jeans, a white t-shirt under an open dark green lumberjack shirt with sleeves rolled up to his elbows, yet he looked so effortlessly hot, it was difficult to even focus. "You need to stop startling me like that, I'm too young to die of a heart attack."

Lukas chuckled, the sound predictably going straight to my heart, like a ruthless arrow ready to point out that the chances that I'll ever see him as just a friend are pretty slim. "Sorry," he walked in, "I saw the door open, I thought you were asleep."

I frowned. "You have a habit of watching me sleep or something?" I teased. "How come you're already dressed anyway?" I glanced at the clock on my nightstand. "It's early even for you."

"I'm meeting the guys a bit earlier." He came to sit on the bed, beside me.

"Chemistry again?"

He heaved yet another deep sigh, making a disgusted face. "Yeah. We're going to study a bit more before class."

"Exams are in about a month, you guys don't need to rush so early. Believe me, college is a marathon, not a sprint, you go too hard the first months, you risk burning out before the end of freshman year." I argued, wondering whether he was lying. What if he was going to meet this Cor person instead of his friends?

"You seem to speak out of experience."

"I made your same mistake on freshman year. I nearly burned out before my first Christmas here. So, I took a deep breath, used the holiday break to recalibrate. I made plans and followed them to the letter." I replied, remembering my first days in Boston, how anxious I was.

By extension, I also thought of Aaron, because he helped a lot in that sense. I didn't even know whether I should answer him or not. Lack of answer would be ghosting, but I didn't have it in me to break his heart a second time.

"It worked pretty well if you consider I'm almost ready to graduate a semester in advance."

"At the cost of a social life, though." Lukas teased, knowing full well what would be my answer.