Roommates with Benefits [18+ only]

36. Friends?

Ugh, Monday. I'm not usually a Monday-hater, but for the past few days I relaxed so well that getting back into hard mode felt so unnecessary. And yet it was. I can't skip classes. Yesterday was nice, though. Lukas and I binged a few shows on Netflix, we had fun, chatting, laughing, joking around ... I probably had the best day in a long time.

The only bummer was the call I got from my mom saying they were delayed and would come over another time. You can bet your ass there was no delay, but Hera Baker doesn't play nurse, not even for her children. That was the good news, though. The bummer was having to listen to her rant some more about how irresponsible I am, how I need to grow up and blah, blah, blah. The usual thing.

My mother has a way of dampening the best of moods. It's like she has a sixth sense. Like, my daughter has had a good day, time to barge in and wreck it. Nevertheless, the fact that my doomsday has been postponed is relieving.

I didn't want to, but eventually I had to open my eyes. I was surprised to feel his arms still around me and at first I wondered why he hadn't gone jogging yet, but then I mentally slapped myself. Lukas stayed awake for 2 days. Literally. He needed every minute of sleep he could get.

Part of me wanted to remain in that position, it felt warm and cozy, especially if compared to the harsh cold that's beginning to cut through the very last rays of sunshine. Not that we feel it in here, our heating system works so well that we could remain naked all day without problems – and it's not like we haven't tried.

I won't deny a pleased smile formed on my lips as I thought of all the surfaces, nooks and corners of the apartment that Lukas and I have already used within a month. We're still missing quite a few, but I bet 6 weeks are more than enough to try them all 3 times each.

As if on cue, I was reminded of his words from the other night. You're not getting rid of me that easily, Lukas said, implying that the formal end of our deal means nothing to him, he intends to keep going with what we do. The question is, do I? Will I?

I'm already having troubles compartmentalizing as it is, with him now full on considerate, sweet, caring guy mode, I don't think even the most frigid woman on Earth could resist. But that woman isn't me. It can't be me. I have seen firsthand the results of an unrequited love. More than that, I've seen firsthand what Lukas Bennet can do to you.

I cannot forget how one of the most badass girls I've ever known, an A class player herself, fell face first into the one thing she'd warned me against: getting attached to your fuck buddy. Sheila was sometimes on my case about how I let Jason boss me around, how I was always scuttling the moment he whistled for me. And, regrettably, she wasn't wrong. But she forgot our lockers were right next to each other. I saw it. I saw her face when he walked by.

Sheila Sanders was not technically what you'd call a Queen Bee in high school, but she was super popular, she could snap her fingers and get any guy she wanted. Back in the day, I was amazed when I saw even a couple of college freshmen hit on her. I grew up thinking that she and Kelly were the primary mold women were made out of, while I was made out of the leftovers someone dropped along the way. To me, Sheila was pretty much a queen. And in that sense, I do understand why my sister would think I was in love with my best friend.

If I think about it now, I do see I pretty much worshipped the ground Sheila walked on. Only because she took pity on me when I first arrived at Lincoln High and she even put an end to my bullying problems. There was this boy, I think he was more or less our age, he was a newbie himself, so I guess he thought the best way to assert himself was to undermine the only other newcomer – me. I was just coming from an all-girls Catholic school, I was shy as hell, I did not stand a chance against a bully.