Roommates with Benefits [18+ only]

63. You know damn well what you did

I remained there, completely speechless, flabbergasted, astounded, completely at a loss for words. The guy that was in front of me right now was the exact same that 3 years ago brutally crushed my heart with his insensitivity. He hadn't changed, not in the slightest bit.

The same dark-brown eyes, the same messy brown hair, the same nice guy look on his face. That's what deceived me the last time. If there's anything I've learnt from the time spent with Lukas, is that people, and in this case more specifically men, can look cute and nice, and totally honest, yet be the worst ever, or look like degenerate bad boys yet have the warmest hearts.

Jason Leman. One of my closest friends back in the day and now one of my biggest traumas, probably second only to my parents. I had pictured our first meeting after what happened many times, but I'd never fathomed it would be in the present circumstances.

I assumed I would be the same old insecure shy nerd, he'd sway me with a few words and I'd get lost, probably even giving in for old time sake. I thought seeing him would crush me, I would be a stuttering, blushing mess that had no idea how to talk to the guy I once loved. Hell, in my ridiculous fantasy I even thought he'd beg for forgiveness and claim his undying love for me and we'd be happy ever after. That's how crazy I was.

Yet now I felt ... nothing. Absolutely nothing. If anything, I looked at that same face now and I wondered: was I high on something when I decided that was the man for me? Did I have some sort of mental impairment that clouded my vision, making me think Jason Leman was the most perfect male being that ever walked this Earth?

"It's been a while, huh?" He claimed, unabashedly x-raying my body like a cheap Superman knockoff.

"Yeah." Was all I said, hand on the handle of my shoulder bag. "How ... are you?" I asked, just to say anything. A few months ago, I'd have wanted to be petty, to get revenge, now I just ... wasn't interested.

"Oh, I'm fine, I'm fine ..." Jason wetted his lips, looking me up and down. "But not as fine as you ..."

I fell for those lame lines back in the day, so hard. Now they sounded so awfully pathetic. I forced out a polite smile. "Are you here for Thanksgiving?"

"Not really, I'm staying at my mom's for the moment." Poor woman. "I'm kind of navigating through projects, you see, multitasking. I have a few great ideas that are definitely going to break the bank, if you know what I mean." Sure, he lost everything when he divorced the random stripper he married 4 weeks after breaking my heart, now he was exploiting that kind woman that is his mom.

"That's nice to hear." Was all I said, trying to disentangle myself, but I was stuck between my politeness and his insistence.

"What are you up to these days?" Jason asked. "Besides getting hotter." Ew.

"I live in Boston, I'm-"

Predictably, he didn't even let me finish. "Oh, Boston. Yeah, I considered Boston," he grimaced, "but Massachusetts is just too cold for me."

"Yeah, you prefer Nevada." I bit back, unable to retain myself. "I hear Las Vegas is pretty great this time of the year."

Either he didn't catch my hint, or he completely ignored it, because he simply went on talking about how he could never live in the East Coast, how he's definitely a West Coast type of guy and a lot more nonsense I tuned out. I had never noticed how annoying his voice sounded until now.

"Well, uh ... I have to go ..." I said awkwardly, cutting off his self-celebrating speech.

"So soon?" Jason grabbed my hand, but opposite to all the other times, I felt no goosebumps, no tingles, no emotion at all. Is this how you're supposed to feel when you've truly moved on from your ex? Like his touch doesn't matter anymore and all you can think about is going back to your boyfriend.