Roommates with Benefits [18+ only]

41. Back to square one

Note: this is set by mid chapter 40

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LUKAS

When Tara left the kitchen, claiming she wasn't feeling well, I wanted to follow her, but then I thought against it. Even I am beginning to see how clingy I'm getting. Well, ok, I didn't see it, Corinne pointed it out. When we talked earlier today, she said that if Tara is the introverted type, she won't like having me always prying. Sometimes she needs a few moments on her own, it doesn't necessarily mean she's mad at me or anything.

I know, I should be aware of these things without needing my best friend to tell me. But I've never actually been in a relationship, I've never had to actively work to make a girl fall for me. If they did fall, it was on their own, I never pushed anyone.

So, I'm trying to work on a strategy, so to speak, something that will at least help me breach through her barriers. It's what I've wanted for a long time, but now I find myself in a hurry because ... what if I get there too late?

I wanted to speak openly with Leo, especially since he's the one that first pushed me into admitting my feelings for my roommate, but ... it wouldn't have been fair. Just because I would, technically, have I saw her first rights, doesn't mean I should get in the way.

After all, he's right. It's her decision. Tara is the only one that can choose who she wants to be with. I'm just trying to focus more on the path than on the possibility of a negative outcome for me.

It'll sound conceited, but this is probably the first time ever that I need to really come to terms with the fact that the woman I want might not want me. Or rather, she may want the physical side of things, but not the emotional one. Now I get how Dion feels. He's completely whipped, but the chances of this Janelle girl wanting to see him again – outside the bed, that is – are quite slim.

According to Corinne, it's karma. Both me and Dion are getting back what we served for years. It is ironic if I'm honest. In Dion's case, the player got played. In my case ... well, my karma was right there with me in the kitchen. The past coming to catch up with me, reminding me how much of a jerk I've been.

Sheila was oddly quiet, even when Tara left, she went on eating dinner. I didn't make any efforts to talk, she's the last person on Earth I'd wish to waste breath with. Well, second-to-last. The very last would be my cheating father.

I still haven't talked to him about what I found out, with him and my mom's best friend. I don't know if I ever will, it would mean opening a can of worms I'm not willing to delve into. He did what he did, I've got nothing to say about it.

"I didn't know you could cook." Sheila mentioned when I was finally sure she'd given up on any of her schemes.

"Goes to prove we've never been as close as you make it out to be." I couldn't help pointing out, then I stood up, and started grabbing all the dirty dishes to wash them. We really need a dishwasher in here.

I wonder who designed this apartment, it's odd. Two bathrooms, both part of the bedrooms; there's a laundry room but not a guest bedroom, a patio for one of the bedrooms but only a balcony for the living room. Tara said the building is old, apartments were renovated about 10 years ago to bring them up to code, but I'd say the architect was high on something when he designed this place.

"Come on, now," Sheila said her in her usual coaxing voice, "that's not true, is it?"

I could feel her behind me, pretty close, but I didn't care. "If you leave now, you can catch the last train for the night." I mentioned. How hard is it for someone to catch such direct hints? If she came here for me, she's delusional. If she came here for Tara, attacking her with snide comments every chance she gets is the worst possible way to rekindle their friendship. And it definitely won't make me any keener on being civil with her.