Roommates with Benefits [18+ only]

21. Roommates with Benefits

I'd been lying on my bed for no longer than ten minutes, feeling tired emotionally more than physically, feeling a headache mounting as well as other types of pain only women ever experience, when I heard a knock on my door. I didn't answer, partly because I was still annoyed at him, but also because I knew my sudden anger had more to do with my mood swings than with him.

Lukas knocked a few more times, though, unrelenting. "Baby, come on, I know you're in there." Pause. "At least, tell me why are you upset."

I wasn't. Well, at first, I was, because he wasn't taking it seriously, or at any rate he seemed more interested in diverting the subject than actually making this damn agreement official. I was mad because he didn't seem to understand just how important these rules are for me.

However, ten minutes on my own, alone with my cramps and the headache and everything else told me that maybe, just ... maybe, a big part of my anger at him was to blame on PMS.

I'm not the calmest girl around that time of the month. I get irritated, I snap easily, everything sets off a fire I don't know how to control. He thought I had an obsession for caramel, but I keep those snacks always ready because chocolate with caramel is about the only thing that subsides my mood swings and temper tantrums every month.

Right now, I wasn't answering not entirely because I was still upset, but more because, the moment I realized The Curse was coming, I decided I wasn't ready for Lukas to see the monster that's gonna replace the already angry Tara he sees on a daily basis. Well, I'm not always angry, I'm just ... emotional. I've learnt to deal with it over the years.

Being more open also exposed me to more emotions, it's just a consequence of the changes I went through after high school. However, I don't really understand myself either most of the time, I can't really blame someone that barely knows me for not picking up on my moods, even though he kind of does regardless. A consequence of living together, no doubt.

"I'm not moving until you talk to me." Lukas claimed from the other side of the door.

I covered my face with a pillow, and groaned loudly into it, then yelled at him: "Just leave me alone."

"I will once you tell me why are you upset." He bit back.

I sighed, already exhausted. The shiest part of me was trying to come up with ideas on how to hide this whole womanly problem from him, but there was no answer. It's the most normal thing in the world, and around someone like Kevin, this summer, it was easy. But I've known Kev all my life and he's my brother-in-law. Hell, he's basically the brother I never had. But Lukas ... what we did, what we plan on doing, and the sides of me he made me discover already, I felt so weird.

"I'm fine." I attempted to sound calmer, despite my inner debate.

"Open the door, then."

Ugh. "Lukas, go away." I cried out, exasperated.

"It must be something I said." He sounded genuinely confused and concerned, which was enough to trigger the overly emotional mess that I am every month.

So, yes, I started crying. I felt bad for him, and guilty because he had no fault, but also angry at myself and so many other things all at once. Ugh, God, I hate this. This is the exact time of the month when I wonder why did I have to be a girl, couldn't I have been born male? It would have been so much easier.

Because Lukas went on knocking, and because I knew that if I went completely quiet, he might decide to unhinge my bedroom door, too, like with the bathroom, I regained my composure after a minute or two, and tried my best to look normal when I went to open the door, despite the increasingly agonizing pain in my nether regions. Judging by his bewildered expression upon seeing me, I looked worse than I thought.