Roommates with Benefits [18+ only]

43. Boys don't cry

This is a bit long, but I couldn't help it

🔥🔥🔥

TARA

Even after almost a week, I could barely wrap my head around what happened with Sheila, but I was slowly getting used to it. Be it only because on one side I had Lukas comforting me and trying to cheer me up, on the other I had Sean with his quirky humor and Leo with his sarcasm. If anybody had told teenage me that she would not only make friends, but that they'd be all guys, she'd have never believed it.

When I told Kelly about Sheila, she immediately went with: I told you so. I couldn't even blame her, I've been so blind. She warned me, in his own way even Aaron warned me, by making sure I wouldn't spend time with Sheila.

I was a little mad at Lukas for not saying a word even though he'd known since day 1, but I couldn't really blame him either. Back in the day, I'd have never believed him, and ever since he moved here, I was too wrapped up in my own sense of guilt to really listen.

That's one of the main issues that are on my To Fix list. I need to jump less to conclusions and listen more. It's not easy because it's a coping mechanism I've kept with me for a long time, but I'm tired of playing defense.

If I want to move forward, as a person more than just in terms of career, I need to work on my insecurities as well as my ... well, traumas. Let's be honest, my life so far hasn't exactly been devoid of traumas.

My parents never wanted me, they shipped me to a Catholic school early on. Growing up, I saw them a couple of times a year, which my mother usually spent in making me feel like dirt under Kelly's shoes. I struggled to make friends and I clung onto my sister until she left the Catholic school, which pushed me back into my safe cocoon even more.

The first real friends I found turned out to be the worst ever. I realize now that Sheila has done nothing but belittle me, fueling my insecurities day by day. The ultimate betrayal was sending Jason after my heart just to keep me from someone that her delusions considered hers.

While I was watching Lukas prepare dinner as usual, I almost laughed out loud, thinking of Sheila's reasons for being such an insult to the whole concept of friendship. She believed Lukas had his eye on me back then, that he came by our lockers every morning for me, not her. She was convinced I had this whole plan set in motion to steal him from her. Set aside all the trauma that this delusion caused me, it was hilarious.

We may be friends now, or more than that, given our deal, but back in the day there was no way in Hell that someone like Lukas could have even noticed me in a crowd. He had the whole school, if not even the whole town, at his feet. Literally everybody in Bradford, Pennsylvania, knew the Bennet family. Lukas was the king of his time, in comparison I was Cinderella slaving away in my stepmother's kitchen, with no fairy godmother in sight.

"Do you really need to cook half naked?" I wondered out loud after I'd spent the past few minutes trying hard not to get lost staring at him.

Lukas chuckled, his muscles reverberating his movements as he flipped something in the pan. "Well, someone keeps stealing my clothes."

On cue, I looked at myself, recalling that I was wearing one of his hoodies again. "Well, uh ... my clothes don't fit with the sling, so ..." I blushed slightly, mostly because I haven't exactly been asking for permission, I just grab whichever sweater that allows me to be more comfortable when I'm at home.

"This is punishment for this morning anyway." Lukas mused as he turned around, probably just to show off his sweaty – due to the heat of the kitchen – abs looking as sinfully tempting as ever.