Roommates with Benefits [18+ only]

47. Why do you have to be so sweet?

I spent most of my day in the library, struggling to focus on studying, but it didn't work, so I went to see Fran instead. I couldn't work, but I could technically help a bit with the cash register, so I did. I was supposed to go to Sean's, but then I reconsidered. His roommate would be there and it'd be awkward, plus Sean would ask for explanations. Regrettably, I went home.

I know I pretty much kicked Lukas out, but I didn't really mean to. Actually, I couldn't even if I wanted to. Technically, yes, I'm his landlady, since he's subletting, but there's a contract and his father paid 6 months of rent in advance. The landlord would have to get involved and, faced with a choice, I'm certain he'd pick the more powerful tenant between us.

Either way, I did not want him to leave the apartment. I was more kind of, sort of trying to give him a chance to prove that all the chaos in my head was for nothing, Sheila's words were lies, all the meanness of his attacks were nothing but temporary rage.

I went at it the wrong way, I'm aware. I always thought I'm the not the type to play games, instead I forced Lukas into a difficult position to have him prove me that he actually cares about me.

And now ... now I was sitting quietly in the kitchen, wondering why he hadn't come home yet. I felt stupid. I wanted to see him, yet I didn't. I wanted to talk to him, listen to his explanations and yet I didn't.

My head has been in a turmoil for weeks now, I keep trying to escape the thoughts, terrified of the revelations, and yet part of me knows I'm in denial. I simply do not know what to do or think or even feel.

I care about Lukas, a lot. I just don't know how much that is and whether I can afford to wait until I find out. Leo told me Lukas was disheartened for the most part of the day, said he could barely pay attention in class and he even skipped their daily workout at the gym. That made me feel even worse, ending up guilty even though I'm the offended part.

Maybe I chose the wrong person to stand up to. I mean, of all the people in my life, Lukas is probably the one that, next to my grandma, has showed me the most that he cares. Did he really deserve to be thrown out at the first quarrel?

Lost in my confusion, I nearly jumped off the stool when my phone rang. Regrettably, I hoped it was Lukas, but it was my sister. "Hey."

"Wow, don't be so excited to hear from me, I can't handle such explosions of affection." Kelly sassed.

I heaved a deep sigh, leaving my head on the island once I'd plugged in my earphones. "I'm just in a bad mood."

"Why? Don't tell me you still think about that hoe. You were even too lenient, if you ask me. I'd have beaten the shit out of her and kicked her bony ass into Mars."

"No, no, it's not Sheila ... I was sorely mistaken there." I grimaced, not even wanting to waste any more time thinking about how stupid I was for never standing up to my so-called friend.

"I hate to say it, but ..."

I scoffed. "You don't hate it at all."

Kelly laughed. "True, I don't." I could picture her grinning victoriously. My sister is highly competitive, even in the smallest things. "I told you so, I told you so ... I fucking told you so!" She proclaimed gleefully. "Don't get me wrong, Taz, I'm sorry you were hurt, but I told you so many times she was a fake bitch."

"I know, I know ..." I sighed. "Either way, it's not about Sheila."

"Then what?" My sister inquired. "Or should I say who? Did Fuckboy reveal his true fuckboy colors?"

"Kelly ..." I sighed.

"What? I did some digging, you know." She mentioned.

"Huh?" I raised my head, confused.