Torn Between The Two

19

Omniscient

It had been a few weeks since the little squabble between Nasir and Ximena.
To her it was completely harmless because she didn't think Amir being there would be such a big deal.
However, Nasir was still angry about it.
Ximena tried to call him countless times but he sent most of her calls to voicemail.
He barely replied to any of her messages and he'd just avoid her altogether.
Ximena was growing tired of his little petty attitude towards the whole situation and her patience was growing thin.
She'd mentally decided that if he didn't come around by the end of the week she'd just leave him alone.

"Hey girl, I just closed up the shop. What you wanna eat?"
"I'm cooking. Just bring yo pretty ass over here"
Farrah said as she took the baked mac and cheese out the oven.
"See you in a bit" with that Ximena hung up and made her way over to her best friend's house.
"It smells like a soul food joint up in here" she made her way into the kitchen to see her best friend making them both a plate.
"Give me a little more mac and cheese" She said as she poured them both a glass of strawberry lemonade.
When they were finished, they made their way into her living room.
They both ate in silence as two and a half men reruns showed on the television.
After eating, the girls groaned at how full but satisfied they were.
"That was good Farrah" Ximena complimented.
"Girl I put my foot in that" she said causing them both to laugh.
"So how's the store doing?"
Ximena smiled.
"It's been going really good so far. I had no idea that so many people had a thing for candles. The turnover rate has been crazy" she spoke in awe about her business.
"I'm so happy that you're finally doing what you love. Not much people have the courage to follow their dreams"
Farrah said.
Before she could say anything, a wave of nausea took over her and she stood to her feet and ran to the washroom.
She emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet.
As tears started to brim her eyes, she continued to vomit until she felt like there was nothing left.
"Kai, drink this" she handed her a glass of water that contained andrews salt.
"Thanks" she tried her best to stand up. When she finally did, she brushed her teeth then drank all the liquid from the glass.
Looking at her reflection, her once teary eyes was now low, red and puffy.
She quickly washed her face and headed out the washroom.
"Come sit with me"
She already knew what Farrah was gonna ask.
"Kai you haven't seen your period for the month. You're two weeks late"
That was very much true. She had told Farrah about a week ago that her period hadn't came as yet and usually it was on time.
She was very much scared of what she could possibly find out if she took a pregnancy test so she'd just find things to do to keep herself busy; like work all day.
It wasn't any easier for her since she hadn't spoken to Nasir in awhile.
"I think it's time you took the test"
"But I don't have any"
Farrah held her best friend's hand and led her back to the washroom.
She bent under her sink and pulled out a box.
"Here" Ximena furrowed her eyebrows.
"I keep a few on me because Von and I be fucking like rabbits" she answered.
"Okay get out" Ximena said causing Farrah to laugh.
She mentally exhaled and took the test out the box.
She knew exactly how this worked but this was the first time she had to take one.
"Okay just relax" she mentally said to herself as her hand began to shake.
She stared at the stick.
She quickly peed on it and put the cover on it before leaving the washroom.
She entered Farrah's bedroom and laid her head in her lap.
"I know you don't want to think about it right now but what if you're pregnant?" Farrah questioned as she glided her fingers through Ximena's hair.
A tear slid out her eyes.
"I don't know. I'm not ready. My life finally feels like it's on the right track. I'm not ready to bring a child into the world"
Farrah nodded.
"Whatever you decide to do just know I'm here for you, okay?"
"Yeah I know" she wiped the tear away.
"I know you and Nas aren't in the best space right now but promise me you'll tell him"
She sighed.
"I promise"
"Can you go check it for me, please?"
Ximena pleaded.
Farrah instantly stood to her feet and went to the washroom to get the test.
She went back to the room and sat next to Ximena.
"Remember what I said, right?" Farrah said.
Ximena nodded.
On cue she flipped the test.
Her heart sank.
-
"Hey I messaged you a few times but you didn't reply. Please text me when you see this. It's important" she ended the voicemail.
For the past two days she's been trying to get Nasir so she could tell him but he never answered nor replied.
She was growing impatient.
"Fuck it"
She slipped into a black leggings with a graphic oversized tee and some crocs.
She didn't care how she looked right now.
She just wanted him to know he was expecting.
As she made her way down the elevator to the parking lot, she started to feel as though it wasn't a good idea.
However, she got in her car and drove out the parking lot.
Pulling up to his place, she noticed his car was parked outside which meant he was home.
"But can't reply to my fucking messages" she spatted.
She walked up to his door knocking.
Since they weren't on terms she didn't want to use the key. She wanted to respect his privacy.
After knocking a few more times but not getting an answer, she grew impatient.
She angrily shoved the keys into the door and unlocked it.
Walking in, she looked around the living room.
She heard low giggles coming from upstairs which caused her to furrow her eyebrows.
She quietly walked up the stairs.
She unlocked his bedroom door and her heart literally sank, just like when she found out she was pregnant.
"So this is why you couldn't return any of my calls?" She asked softly.
She didn't want to cause a scene.
Nasir looked up and his face held a shook expression until it turned into a poker like face.
"Wassup Ximena?" He said getting out of bed.
The girl that he was with just stared at the two like she didn't know what was going on.
"Nas who's her?" She questioned.
"Oh her? My ex"
To say she was hurt would be an understatement. She wanted to cry, scream, yell anything to get rid of some of the emotions she felt.
"I'm your ex? So you ready to give up on everything because of something so little?" She questioned as he walked past her.
She followed him out the room.
At the moment, Nasir didn't care about how Ximena felt.
He felt as though she disrespected him and since she couldn't see that then there was no point of them being together.
"Yup" he simply replied.
Ximena couldn't believe that this was happening to her right now.
The anger took over here and before she could realize what she was doing, she smacked him.
Nasir grabbed her hand and pushed her against the wall.
"Yo don't put your hands on me!" He growled at her.
"I hate you Nasir! I hate you!" She spatted as tears rolled down her face.
"Yeah and I hate your disrespectful ass too! That shit might've been little to you but it was big to me!" He shouted.
"You know how that shit looked? You got that nigga all in your face giving you gifts and shit. Didn't I do enough for you?" He shouted in her face.
It only caused her to cry harder.
"Let me go Nasir!" She shouted as she panted.
"What the fuck do you want anyway?" He questioned as he let go of her.
She snatched the test out of her purse and threw it towards him.
"I don't want to see you again"
That was the last thing she said before she left.
Nasir stared at the test and guilt started to eat him out. He was angry that he allowed his anger to make him do what he did to her.
He grabbed his phone and sent her a message apologizing for putting his hands on her but it didn't deliver.
"Fuck!"
-
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Farrah questioned as she held her best friend's hand.
Ximena nodded.
After she left Nasir's house that day, she stopped at the clinic to make an appointment for an abortion.
She knew she couldn't give birth to a child right now. Even though she knew she had a strong support system, mentally she wasn't capable and she didn't want to deprive her child of such.
"Ximena Carter" the nurse called out.
Farrah and Ximena looked at each other.
"Thank you for being here for me. I know you're not a hundred percent on board with this decision but I'm sure this is what I want to do"
Farrah nodded.
"It's okay. I understand. I don't want you to feel like I'm judging because I'm not. I love you" Farrah spoke.
"I love you too" they shared a hug before the nurse led Ximena to the room.
-
"Are you okay?" Farrah questioned her best friend.
Since they left the clinic, Ximena hadn't spoken a word.
"Yeah I'm fine. Just take me home" she said as she placed her head against the window.
Farrah nodded and drove to her destination.
Pulling up, she looked over at Ximena.
Ximena looked up at apartment and mentally sighed.
She turned to Farrah who was already looking at her.
Pulling her into a hug, a tear slid out her eyes.
"Thank you for being there for me, Farrah"
Farrah patted her back.
"You don't have to thank me Kai. I'm always going to be here for you, okay? I'm going to the restaurant to see what's going on then I'll drop by your shop. I'll call you and let you know what's going on then I'll be back"
Ximena nodded.
"Do you need anything?"
"No, just come back when you're finish"
She got out the car and headed up to her apartment.
She unlocked her door making sure to lock it back.
The following day after she left Nasir's place, she got her locks changed just incase he decided to pop up.
She ran herself a bath and stripped out of her clothes.
As soon as she got comfortable in the tub, she began to cry.
Everything from the day of her store opening right up to her abortion began to play on a loop in her head.
The way that Nasir basically broke up with her infront of another girl, his nonchalant attitude towards her and even the fact that he put his hands on her.
She was hurt.
She knew she couldn't bring her child into that.
She didn't want to.
She always said that when she made her first child it would be with someone who was madly in love with her. Someone who wouldn't hurt her.
And clearly that wasn't Nasir.
Now she had no choice but to be stronger than ever.