Torn Between The Two

13

Ximena Kai Carter

I entered my brother's house and instantly the smell of food filled my nostrils.
"Amor!" I shouted.
"I'm in the kitchen!" He shouted back.
I walked in placing my bags on the floor.
I washed my hands and checked the pots he had on the stove.

There were shrimps, corn, greens and rice.
Opening the oven I smiled at the site; baked chicken, macaroni and cheese, corn bread & stuffed baked potatoes.
"You really missed me huh? Got you making your very best and shit" he playfully pushed me.

"My homies supposed to come over any minute. I ain't cooked for yo ass"
I mugged him.
"I'd throw away all this shit Xahier don't play with me" he bursted out in laughter.
"So what's been up with you?" He asked as he took off the oven mitten.
I leaned against the island in his kitchen.
Shrugging I replied, "there isn't much going on at the moment. I had to end things with Amir two weeks back"
"Already? Why?"
"His ex is having his baby"
He covered his mouth.
"Damn that's crazy. You sure you're good? I know how close you guys had gotten for the past couple of months"
"I mean I hate that things happened the way it did but I did my shit too. I don't want to dwell on it for too long. Life goes on" I said.

He hugged me unexpectedly. I smiled at the little moment we were having. Xahier was really someone who made me feel better.

Moments after, I made myself a plate and decided to hang out in his backyard.
I just wanted sometime for myself.
I had work tomorrow and as much as I love my job I honestly didn't feel up to it.
I slipped in my AirPods and decided to drown out my thoughts with music.
Soon after eating, I got comfortable in the patio chair and fell asleep.
-
Waking up, I looked around to see the sun was preparing to set.
I picked up my plate and phone and headed inside.
As I washed up, I could hear Xahier and his loud ass friends in the living room.
I decided to run upstairs and freshen up a bit then make a to-go plate and head out.
Making my way into the kitchen, I saw someone standing in there.
I could already tell who it was.
We hadn't spoken in months that's because I decided to not answer his calls nor texts.
Us having sex was my biggest regret and even though Amir was also unfaithful two wrongs doesn't make it right.
I started stacking my to-go plate with everything I wanted.
I could feel eyes burning into my soul but I fought the urge to even give him that time of day.
"You gon continue to ignore me for the rest of your life?"
I ignored him.
He used that as a sign to make his way over to me.
As I thought about it, I couldn't blame Nasir. He's a man. Of course he didn't care because he didn't see Amir as a threat.
I gave him access to myself when I shouldn't have and I allowed him to do things to me he wasn't entitled to.
"I been seeing yo lil boyfriend outchea with a pregnant girl. Y'all must've broken up huh ?"
To say that didn't hurt me would be a lie.
I'm devastated.
Even though while we were together I didn't think that far because I just wanted us to enjoy our time together, it hurt to know that he was having his first kid with his ex.
"Yeah we broke up" I said not looking at him.
He nodded.
"That could've been us but you wanted a cheating ass nigga" he shook his head walking off.
I kissed my teeth as I walked out the kitchen to the living room.
"Amor, I'm leaving"
"Okay let me walk you out to the car" he paused the game making the boys get rowdy.
"Shut up!" He shouted as I chuckled.
He opened my car door and waited for me to get comfortable in the drivers seat.
"You sure you'll be okay?"
He questioned.
I nodded. "I've been doing better than I was a few weeks ago to be honest. I'm just coming to grips that it's actually over you know" he kissed my forehead and ruffled my hair.
"I'll come by some time to check up on you, okay? Take care of yourself for me baby sis"
I nodded.
He closed the door and waited for me to drive off.

As I drove I honestly didn't feel like going home.
I drove around a bit until I decided to stop by Farrah's.
I parked my car and got out with my plate.
I used my spare key to enter her house.
"Farrah!" I shouted.
"I'm in the kitchen!" She shouted back.
It smelt so good in there.
"What you making?" I decided to put my plate in her fridge.
"I was making some garlic Parmesan chicken pasta with garlic bread and some brownies for us" she stated.
"I was going to drop by your place in a few but you beat me to it" we both chuckled.
"I was just over at Amor's place. He cooked so I ate and fell asleep. Decided to get myself a to go plate for the road but then I didn't wanna go home so I came here"
She took off her oven mitts and came over to me.
"Aw, how are you doing?"
I shrugged.
"Better than before you know. Ran into Nasir over there. Apparently Amir's baby mama is up here now. He saw them together"