Short Stories

Asking the question

Society has a problem and has taught us to have a problem when it comes to asking questions about faith. People believe that there faith is too personal to ask about. Most of the best lessons, memories and ideas come from religion and our experience with it. I will say this, that in order to talk to someone about their faith and about yours there are several things to do first. The top two are make sure that you have a good and strong relationship with them and also give them a heads up that you want to have a conversation about this. As long as you have those two things then getting to talk to this person should be pretty straight forward, at least, in my very limited experience, it was easy for me and my best friend John to discuss.

John is one of my best friends. He was born and raised in Pakistan until he was sent to America with his little sister because their parents wanted them to live a better life in a safer environment. John and his sister Grace left about a month before September 11th 2001. Their parents left a little bit afterwards and they moved in to my neighborhood. We became friends years later because of the social awkwardness that was showered upon them but secretly we have been friends since we were both little. He actually took me to his Mosque this winter and Grace came with us and afterwards we discussed religion and memories.

I had told John that we were going to talk about this and he was completely open about it. Since we had grown up together and had made a pact to never lie or hide anything this was just going to be another weird and yet normal conversation for us. It was fun since we had never really talked just straight religion to each other.

We talked about weddings and how long there were and what happened. John and I were always a favorite match between his parents. They, for the longest time, wanted us to get married. My only problem would be getting disowned by my family. As they casually and always offer their conjecture, we moved to sadder topics such as funerals and last rites. His family is not too big on talking about death and the end of days. He told me about how much he wanted to be cremated but his faith would not allow it. My family is the same way. They really believe that cremation should not be allowed. We joked later about digging up each other's grave and spreading each other ashes know fully that we won't.

Like I said before we have always had a weird friendship with open conversations. He was very honest with me about how much he hated but understood the amount of washing they had to do. John use to attend a different Mosque where the washing stations were outside. He said it was not bad in the summer but early spring and winter was very difficult because either the pipes would freeze or the water was very cold. If the pipes froze they would wash up inside the bathroom. The Mosque he know attends has indoor washing stations and the water is always warm. John seemed happy with this little fact.

When we finished our conversation we both looked at each other and wondered why we did not talk religion more often or rather at all. We were both open about religion or any topic really with each other but we had never focused just one religion before. Then it dawned on us that society has pushed people away from talking about personal matters. For John and I to be so open and understand is not normal. John literally had to sneak me out to go to the Mosque and I had to sneak him out so he could go to church with me. I took him with me so I would not be alone. It seems that this once open nation has preached the wrong message. People in both religions looked at us weirdly, as if we were some freak show walking in. The Muslims were welcoming but they knew I was not one of them.

John and I were always the odd balls in our community but we respected each other. Of course like any good conversations there were sidetrack moments and deep conversations. It was very enlightening and we definitely are more understanding and compassionate with each other. Neither one of use preached but we talked and open ourselves up to the possibility of losing ourselves to either differences or in the conversation. We both want to ask questions about the different events and what had happen in them. We had to wait for clarification but trust me it was totally worth it because we listened instead on interjected our thoughts or feelings.

We tried as hard to stick to the question sheet but afterward we had so many more questions that instead of this being a thirty minute conversation it was over two hours and the environment that we had created was at first awkward and uncomfortable but it turned into a new connection. We freed ourselves from the social taboo and learned from each other. I know that this seems crazy but I feel that this brought us closer to each other instead of, what I feared, breaking us apart. John and I feel into the pit of empathy and compared ourselves, our religions and our experience with each other.