Short Stories

Love Letter

My dearest,

You will always be my crazy country boy. I love you like nobody's business. You will get back into the swing of writing love letters.

I am sorry that my depression has been running the show. There is just so much pressure to be perfect and to complete so much work. I am very frustrated and i know that has been leaking into our relationship. My research is messy and i know it is hard to understand. I hope that maybe we can talk about it soon so i can explain it to you. I am glad God gave me a patient and understand man like you to fall in love with.

My frustration is not with you. It is with the postage system and everything in between. I am trying my best not to let it affect us but it is so damn hard. I know school isn't helping. Everything is just piling up and taking all my energy. I suppress it as much as i can when we talk because we don't get a lot of time to talk. The army keeps you up and busy so much that it is hard to get time. I am trying to devote as much time to us and our well-being. Long distance sucks and i hope that we will see each other soon. Maybe we can take a night out of the week and ask each other weird questions like we used to do. I miss those wild and innocent nights of sex, stories and falling in love with each other.

I know you don't understand my life. I need to know what you expect of me, what you want from me. I want to make things perfect and live up to what you want me to be. When i make a promise i keep it no matter what. As far as my hurting myself, it is one of the only ways of control and expression that i know. it doesn't make sense to you but it does to me. I know it bothers you and i have stopped for our sake. I am trying to figure out the best way to express what i feel when i feel it without hurt us or making you uncomfortable. It isn't easy when I don't know any way other then harm or isolation. Warren please see that i am trying. I just don't know what to do. Just be patient with me and show me what I should do.

I love you so much Warren. I hope that we can sleep together tomorrow night. I know it sounds crazy but you help me relax and sleep. You are such an amazing man and i am blessed to have you in my life. I hope that soon we will be together.

Eternally Yours in Love,