The Hufflepuff and the Slytherin

Chapter 17-Memories and Thoughts

A few days went by and you were still numb from the events that had happened back at Lucius' mansion. Although you hated yourself for it, you literally could not stop thinking about him. It pained you to still pine after him; to long for that intoxicating scent of his, to want to have those grey eyes stare at you, even when those eyes felt so cold and hateful. You longed to be in his presence so badly, and yet at the same time you knew you would like nothing more than to forget about him altogether. It was as if you were a drug addict. Longing so much to have that drug but knowing deep down it was the worst thing for you. Lucius was your drug, and now, after seeing him for the first time in years, you once again felt the strong desire for him in your body, mind and soul.

On the second night of deciding you couldn't go back to that mansion, you were sitting out in your garden, just watching the stars above you, or what little you could see of them from the city of London, thinking about nothing in particular. Your mind numb as usual. All of a sudden you saw a small white owl flying above your head and then saw it come even closer as it was clearly coming to deliver you something.

With a sigh, you knew it was the same owl that had delivered you the first letter a few weeks ago about the job opportunity, so you knew it came from Lucius...well most likely his elf.

With a hoot the little owl landed on the arm of your chair where you were sitting out in the garden and you untied the letter from its foot.

Sure enough, upon opening the letter, you saw neat handwriting asking you where you had been.

"Miss, I have not seen you for the past few days. Master has requested your presence back here to continue the work in the gardens and to speak with you. Please come tomorrow around noon."

The note said nothing else. It didn't need to. You knew it was the anxious elf writing to you, wondering where you were, most likely getting berated by her Master, Lucius, as to why work in the gardens wasn't continuing.

You were angry. Angry because it seemed as if seeing you hadn't effected Lucius as much as you thought it had? You had thought he wouldn't want to see you at his home or anywhere near him anymore. That the pain of seeing each other would have been too much for him. But worse though, was that it seemed he just saw you as his worker and nothing more, and he was annoyed that the work wasn't getting done.

You should have known though that Lucius didn't have a heart enough to feel anything anymore. He wasn't about sentimentality. He didn't care.

You got up and gave the owl a treat before sending it on its way. Of course you wouldn't send a response back. You had no intention of going back to that place. And so you went to bed that night thinking your mind had been made up.

However, you soon realized your mind clearly hadn't been made up at all. All night you tossed and turned as your mind worked in overdrive thinking about everything and all things Lucius, and what going back to that mansion would mean. There were two very equal parts of you that were conflicting as you tossed and turned and rethought things. On one hand, you had been so happy to be working on such a spectacular space and garden to showcase your amazing herbology and gardening skills. The pay was also beyond anything you could have asked for in a job too and you would be lying to yourself if you said the money wasn't tempting.

On the other hand, there was the big, obvious issue of Lucius. But that was the thing...was that a bad thing? You knew for your mental health the obvious answer was yes! However, as you lay in bed in the dead of night thinking about Lucius, your mind couldn't help but wander to the good times...the times when you had been in deep love with each other. You still didn't know if those times had been fake or truly meant anything to Lucius, but they had meant everything to you, and the more and more you stayed up into the night and early morning the more your brain became confused on if seeing Lucius and being around him was something you didn't want...subconsciously you knew you secretly did, even if you kept telling yourself that you didn't.