Christmas dreams

Fayre

Chris POV

A few weeks later

Today is the Boston Christmas fair, it's such a great event and Luca has loved coming here every year. We meet up with my ma and the rest of the family and we have a really good time. I've gotten Luca all nice and cosy and we are just heading out. We walk there as it's not that far from where we live.

Luca sees Scott and his boyfriend and runs over to them. I see Scott pick him up and spin him around. He loves his uncle Scott and uncle steve.
"Hey bro"
"Hey, looking forward to today"
"Most definitely. Looking forward to Mrs harpers hot chocolate"
"Well Ma is around here somewhere, she's been helping set up. Apparently there is a new duo singing tonight as well"

Luca holds my hand and we start walking around the fair. Its lovely to see all the amazing stalls and Christmas decorations. As we stop in front of the stage, I feel Luca pull away from me and run to the stage front. I walk after him and see him talking to a woman, someone who looks really familiar.
"Daddy look it's Mia"
"I can see buddy. Hi Mia"
"Hi Chris, it's good to see you both again"

"Is Lilo here?"
"No mate I'm sorry. She is at home with her brother. Can you guess his name?"
Luca shakes his head "his name is Stitch"
"No way! That's so cool"
She laughs and smiles down at him, ruffling his hair.
"So what brings you here?"
"Oh I'm singing tonight, me and my sister"
"Oh right.....my brother said there was a new duo"
"That's us. Haven't sang together in a while so should be interesting"

"I'm sure you'll be great"
I feel a hand on my shoulder, as I turn I see Scott and he smiling wildly at me.
"Hello"
I take a deep breath "hey, Scott this is Mia. Mia this is my pain in the ass brother"
Scott looks at me with a scowl "he means much more handsome brother"
He shakes her hand "wait your Mia?"
"Yeah I am. It's nice to meet you"

"As in the Mia Luca?"
"Yes uncle Scott"
"You been talking about me Luca?"
"Yes I told uncle Scott all about your doggy. And guess what uncle Scott?"
"What munch man?"
"Her dog has a brother and his name is Stitch"
"Omg!! That's amazing"
He gives Luca a high 5 and I see Mia smiling down at them.

"Anyway guys, I gotta get back to rehearsal. Maybe I'll see you around later. Grab a hot chocolate? Heard there the best"
"You heard right and yeah of course"
She smiles "see you later Luca"
"Bye Mia"
We walk away and I feel Scott staring at me "what are you staring at Scott?"
"So that's Mia?"
"Yes"
"She's gorgeous"
"That hasn't slipped my notice Scott"

"You should ask her out?"
"No"
"Why not?"
"Scott, right now I'm focusing on Luca and the marvel movie. I don't have time for....."
"For what.....happiness.....love......chris it's been nearly 5 years. You have the right to be happy"
"I don't have that right Scott."
"Please tell me you don't still blame yourself"
"Of course I do. It was my fault. All of it. Now
Please drop it okay"

"Fine"
I keep walking and try to calm myself down. Lucas mum was my best friend, we did everything together, we made the stupid decision to lose our virginity together too. And straight after that I left for LA to pursue my acting career. I knew Alice was upset I was leaving but what I didn't know was she was in love with me. I didn't see her again until 6 months later. When I saw her I couldn't believe my eyes, she was pregnant.

As she looked up at me I saw the fear, the fear that she had been caught. We argued and she stepped out into the road to get away from me. She was hit, full on collision. When we got to the hospital, they told me the baby had to be born, he was so premature. They didn't know if he would survive and then they told me that my best friend, the woman who was the mother of
My child had died.

I didn't know what to do, I had a son and even he was critical. I mourned Alice for so long, but I knew I needed to be strong for my baby boy. I named him Luca because she had always told
Me if she ever had a baby boy, that would be the name she picked. I gave him Alice as his middle name In honour of his beautiful mother. He spent months in hospital but when he finally reached his due date and his correct birth weight they allowed me to take him home.

And from that day I swore I would do everything in my power to protect him, to love him and to nurture him. Everyday I blamed myself for Alice's death. If I hadn't of approached her or yelled or got angry then she would still be here and Luca would have his mother. So.....I don't believe I deserve happiness or love because Alice doesn't get to have those things anymore. If that's what I have to do In order to keep Luca safe and keep my guilt at bay then I will do it. My son is my priority.