A hero's fall (Shigarakixreader)ONHOLD

Dabi bonding

Chapter 9

You ended up lying on his floor as instructed but sleep evaded you completely. It seemed tonight was going to be one that even work couldn't distract you...as it usually did. The sounds of the city outside and memories of nights alone with Endeavor wriggle their way into your consciousness leaving you trembling and breathless. Looking over you see that your Master is fast asleep. You think back to his orders earlier. "Lie down here. If it is not exceedingly important I expect you to stay in that spot the entire night."

Your heartbeat quickens, palms sweat, and your body tingles. You stand up abruptly not wanting to let the panic attack turn to flashbacks, and head out of his room/office. "I hope this constitutes 'exceedingly important'." Finally you find the door that leads to the roof. You needed air to fill your aching lungs. You open the door to see a wide-eyed Dabi smoking a huge blunt. "Uh...sorry I'll um..." You get no reaction from the man as you stammer out your apology.

 Dabi stands then takes slow steps toward you, unsure if your presence meant Shigaraki was awake. "What's crusty cream doing up this late or has his little pet been let off her leash?" His deep voice is attractive and his stance non confrontational...but still rather guarded. Much like yourself.

"Are you gonna offer to share or do I need to hunt down some drugs for myself?" You ask deciding that going back would only mean no distractions. He cocks an eyebrow giving you a little smirk. "You are more fun when he's not around." You shrug taking his blunt before sitting on the ledge of the building. A whimper quietly escapes you when you sit down feeling pain shoot through various parts of your body.

"So what's your story?" You look over at the quiet man shocked beyond belief that he had asked you an actual question. "It's long, brutal and disturbing." You reply darkly before looking off into the horizon again. "You and me both kid." You nod looking over at all his scars, staples, and piercings. "What about you studs? I know a bit from context but not much." He shakes his head taking the blunt from you for his turn. "I hate that nickname." You smirk over at him triumphantly. "Good."

"And here I thought after two hits you'd be on your ass." The little chuckle that follows his words to you seems almost childlike. Just like with Shigaraki if you caught him late at night and in the dark..."You're not so bad ya know that." Your statement brings a dark laugh from deep within his chest as he passes back to you. "Y/N I am possibly worse than anyone you've met." You tilt your head in amusement. Sure he's brutal in fights you'd fought some heroes alongside him before, but something about him just..."Honestly I see you as wounded. Just like myself and likely everyone else here. Villainy isn't a life we just up and chose. Contrary to what they teach you in hero courses of course."

You take a deep breath before continuing on rambling your inner thoughts. "We were all forced into this by life in one way or the other. I've only seen true evil twice." He looks over at your thoughtful expression not knowing how he should respond at first. You are glowing ever so slightly and the full moon makes you seem rather ethereal. "I see it in the everyday." He says finally breaking the much too thought filled silence.

"Sounds like you need this more than me tonight." He announces to break the tension handing you a small joint for yourself. You let out a laugh, "Oh honey you have no idea." He shakes his head seemingly to look away from you. "Boss Baby left bruises this time I see." You blush madly wishing he had not said anything. "Dude it is 4am and dark as hell, how did you even see that?" You ask in a huff, but looking around you remember how deep in the underbelly you are. Even at this hour the city radiates with neon light and mixing with the gorgeous full moon you'd been too distracted to appreciate until now. "So what's your angle here Y/N?" You bite your lip kicking your legs above the cluster of cars far below you.

"Honestly I don't have one. At this point in life, after...everything that's happened...I'm learning my place in the world. So far it seems being at his feet is the only place I fit in this life. I am happier here than ever before, and I have you all to thank for that. Even Toga has helped me some. For now...I'm just doing what I can for the league."

Silence falls between you but it's more tense than the ones you share with your Master making you fidgety. "For what it's worth I think you could find a place elsewhere if you wanted to, but that can only mean that you have stayed for a particular reason." You heave a sigh wishing he'd just let the topic drop.

"My reasoning is often a mixture of selfishness and selflessness. Just like they were when I was becoming a hero. There was a time I truly believed what they had to say about society, but the more I grow into myself and my position the more I question everything. Every decision I make has a reason now Dabi, but those reasons are far too personal to share with a man who by the way hasn't hardly talked to me the almost year I've been here."

His shoulders slump slightly at your words making you confused. "Well you could have attempted as well." You nod realizing just how right the statement is. "That's true. I guess since we are being honest here...I was nervous. Something about you makes me feel shy." You give a small laugh and shrug.
"I have that effect on people. It's called fear doll." You smile looking over at him, you hold up a cigarette. "Lend me a finger?" You ask, showing that you really weren't threatened. He lights your cigarette with his quirk making you laugh. "I'm surprised you actually did that for me, but to answer the question hidden in that statement...no I am not afraid of you. You are as guarded as I am for a reason. I felt responsible for helping you keep your silence I guess." Dabi lets out a breath he did not realize he was holding in. 'She really analyzed that much already?' His thoughts begin to spiral on the idea of someone understanding him. 

Why was it that sitting here in Tomura's shirt with a near stranger you felt so free to be open? "I'm glad I came up here. It's nice to feel truly human sometimes...others it's unbearable." You let the honest words tumble from somewhere deep in your belly.

 "Is that why you submit then?" You wince not wanting to dig into your theories on that. "Dabi one personal topic at a time man." He chuckles surprised by how calm you are staying through all of this...but he failed to notice how much you had smoked to drown out the feelings...

Sitting here on this rooftop with you has opened his eyes though, to why it is that Shigaraki got weak around you. "You sure you're not some undercover hero Y/N?" Your eyes bore into his a glow of moon energy emanating from you. 'How beautifully destructive.' He thinks to himself looking at how your flare of rage envelopes you like a damn Goddess. "Yes Dabi I am sure I'm not working for the literal scum of this fucking earth. I have common human decency honestly. Trust me, heroes don't know shit about that."

Dabi blinks at you for a moment wanting to apologize but unwilling to show that level of vulnerability. So instead he puts a hand on your leg, a gesture he's surprised about coming from himself. The foreign touch makes you jolt slightly. He raises an eyebrow but keeps his hand in place on your knee. "You get it don't you?" Is all you mutter into the night before he gets up to leave. "Till next time doll. I'm sure we'll be seeing each other up here more often now that he has you on the floor." and with that last rather annoying comment he laves you on the roof with your thoughts.