TW: substance use
Chapter 20
You and Dabi smoke a few joints together and talk. You both share your feelings about One For All (trust the feelings are mutual haha), and you guys even discuss some of your trauma with Endeavor.
"Ya know Dabi I really appreciate this. You're always willing to smoke me up and keep me company. That's something Tomura isn't really allowed to give me...I value your kindness very much." Upon hearing those words Dabi is pushed into fighting to hold his tongue. Any other time in his past that someone said something about him being kind it was to use it against him. Something his father was rather fond of doing in his younger years.
"I see my pet is comfortable with you patches." You perk up hearing your Master's voice, a wide grin that cuts Dabi to the core spreads across your face. The love in your gaze when you look at the krusty freak is far more intense than the fondness he receives from you. "What are you doin out?" You ask, trying to stand.
Both Dabi and Shigaraki move to help you but you just stay by Dabi's side. "I'm sorry Master...adrenaline got me here but I'm not sure it's willing to take me back." You giggle at the joke but the two men try to look away from you. Seeing someone so wild and strong be so broken was both exciting and saddening, but they very much wish to respect you in such a vulnerable moment.
"So are we going to smoke or what?" Dabi asks, looking over at Shigaraki, a lazily annoyed expression written all over his face. The annoyance touches his eyes but not the flippancy. "Dabi there's no reason to be a dick out here." You state impatiently. A fight between these two is not something you are ready to mediate. Especially with no energy to use your quirk.
"Actually, ass hole I did bring some." Shigaraki pulls out some more joints, but with how fuzzy your brain is you shake your head. "You boys enjoy it, I'm already feeling myself." You giggle not knowing how else to say what it is you were trying to explain. The two men with you simply shake their heads in unison before bickering back and forth about who gets first hit.
Deciding you do not want nor have to deal with their shit out here you climb onto the ledge of the roof you are on and lay down. The stars are out now but of course with all the lights here you are only able to see some of them. "I want to see the stars one day." The bickering behind you stops everything falling silent for a handful of seconds.
"I wish to show them to you." The men say in unison taking you by surprise. They glare at each other and a spark flies from Dabi's fingers, but they resist the urge to fight knowing you have witnessed and experienced enough today as is.
"Guys...that was so sweet." You sniffle holding back the tears that have been threatening to escape you ever since you left Shigaraki alone with All For One. Years of pent up emotion bursts free and you shake with the sobs that rip through you. Pain pulsates in your chest and the twisting in your stomach makes you glad you have not eaten yet today.
"Shit." Dabi steps aside so that Shigaraki can comfort you. Even with his odd attachment to you he understands that it is in fact not his place. Your Master wipes your tears away removing his glove so that nothing stands between you two. "I am truly sorry for what he put you through today, my pet." Shigaraki's words are sincere, taking Dabi aback. He has never seen this man be tender before. It was relieving to know he was capable.
You sob louder and louder, everything falling into a very abrupt reality for you. Hawks' absence, the abuse, the harsh death of your dreams. Up until now you have been adequately distracted with the League..."Sorry..." You sniffle and take the joint from your Master's other hand. "It's just a lot..." You bite your lip and finally ask what you've been wondering since the mission with Endeavor. "May I have permission to visit an old friend? I don't like his work but I would like to know how he is fairing."
Shigaraki looks over at you, clearly confused. "You had friends back then?" You wince but can't help the smile that forms on your face. "Ouch. Ya know I had a lot as a matter of fact." Dabi runs through his memories in an attempt to see if you have spoken of this before. "Oh you want to visit chicken boy."
"Yes I am talking about Hawks." You reply to Dabi giving him a very dramatic eye roll. "No." Shigaraki utters the word so darkly it causes you to freeze mid step on your way to Dabi's joint. "Oh..." You knew eventually being a slave would likely cause a complication for you, but choosing to avoid Hawks and not being allowed to see him are two very different things. "Well...that's unfortunate." Dabi stares straight at you and since you are facing him he sees the anger and sadness in your eyes, and the way you hold your body so defensively.
"I do not trust that flashy feather bitch one bit." Shigaraki informs you, turning so that he can look you in the eye. "Unless I have to send you into a mission like last time you will never be seeing him." Your heart stutters as if it wishes to give in right on this rooftop. "Oh..." You take a deep breath and instead of stealing his joint you slip your hand into Dabi's coat pocket. The closeness makes his eyes narrow in a way you have not seen from him before.
"Thanks." You say giving him a nod and a smirk before showing him that you took one of his cigarettes. "You are annoying." Dabi tells you then ignites his fingertip for you. "Thanks ya!" You exclaim giving him a large smile that you both know is extremely fabricated. "Well if that's your rule Master I will not break it. Thank you for your time boys." The men look at you surprised and confused. "I would like to go for a walk, Master. Alone if that's alright." Shigaraki tilts his head. There's a very dead look in your eyes and as beautiful as that is to him it is very very different from your usual.
"I can not permit that pet. You can walk with me or not at all." You nod knowing it is not smart for you to walk alone...especially in the state your in. "Let's just stay I guess." You shrug sitting next to your Master. "Pet I need to know your mental state at the moment." You nod and explain everything happening inside you.
"Well mentally I am empty. Emotionally I am empty as well, and as for the physical...I feel tingly everywhere but no intense pains anywhere unless I bump the bruises from his insanely large needles." The words leave your mouth as if you're giving an employer the update they requested. He is rather uncomfortable with this behavior. "Y/N...are you working with him?" The words are in your ear before you even register the four fingers wrapping around the back of your neck.
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A/N: I love writing this so much I am excited to write out the next chapters to see what happen cause I don't even know yet haha
Hope you guys are enjoying the story so far. I wanted to let you know that I am going on a trip to see family for the Holidays so I may not write much if any from Thursday to Tuesday. I am sorry guys!
I hope you all have a wonderful holiday! May peace, protection, love, and light guide you into this new year. Stay safe and stay tuned hehe <3
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