A hero's fall (Shigarakixreader)ONHOLD

Untitled Part 13

TW: mental illness, bdsm referenced, and substance use. 

Chapter 13

You lay in bed holding your pillow to your chest. Separation anxiety is not new to you. Back when you were younger, if you and Keigo were separated for even ten minutes you would start to get nervous, but this one was so much bigger. You longed for your Master's scent, his body, his overall comfort factor. "I wish you were here." You say to no one as you stare at the brick wall.

A knock sounds on your door pulling you from your thoughts. "Master?" You squeak pathetically from the bed, but instead of a response Dabi just walks in satisfied with just knowing you're awake. "Wanna hang on the roof? I want to tell you something." Your head tilts in confusion and you say, "Anything is better than feeling this bullshit." giving him a small shrug standing up to follow him out the door.

Arriving at the roof he sighs, shoving his hands in his pockets. "You just did something I have not been ready to do myself." You look at him curiously. For the first time he is showing true emotion. "Dabi are you alright? I'm sorry if I wronged you in some way." He shakes his head lighting two cigarettes at once not even asking this time knowing you smoked nearly as much as he did at this point.

"You killed my father Y/N. The reason I look so monstrous just got pulverized before my eyes. Thank you for healing that part of me. I needed to be there for it, and I am actually quite glad that dusty put me on the mission with you. You were breathtaking this evening." You blink at him as you hit your cigarette trying to piece together all the information, and process the fact he was being so honest. "Wait so...wow dude...he did worse than me...that's something I never thought possible."

Dabi shakes his head, unable to hide anything from you after what he witnessed this evening. "What he did to you was worse in my opinion. You had hope. I never did." Your heart shrivels and falls through the floor making you sick to your stomach.

"The world is so much better off, and yet they will mourn his loss like the pathetic media slaves they are. I find it almost sad how blindly trusting they make everyone be of heroes. Kids grow up with false hope...and that's just cruel. Stain really made some good points"

Dabi nods, pulling a full flavored vodka bottle out of his jacket. "Celebratory drink? I swiped some birthday cake since this death was so glorious." You smirk sitting cross legged on the roof across from where your newly bonded friend stood. "I'd very much enjoy that." You say smiling up at him.

The sight of you kneeling just this morning so submissively in front of him comes crashing into him nearly making him groan out loud. 'That is Shigaraki's, he'd have your head.' Dabi scolds himself inwardly, similar to how he did when he was a child. How could this woman take the hardest of men and melt them easier than he could a candle.

"Bottoms up little mouse." He announces chugging as much as he can before handing the bottle over to you. "Why do you call me that anyways?" You ask not really understanding why he came up with it in the first place. He sighs before answering trying to weigh how honest he felt he should be with you.

"Anytime I see you it feels like you need protection and your little squeaks when you get nervous or uncomfortable. Those too." You wince at the burn of the vodka making him laugh. "I do not squeak." You say taking another huge swallow from the bottle in your hand.
"You do squeak. All the time." You blush at this information silently wondering if you've always done this and everyone just assumed you knew or if it was a new thing you had picked up. With a shrug you hand the bottle back.

After about an hour the entire bottle is gone and you are wasted. "Fuuuuuck." The word comes out as more of a groan than anything as a gust of wind hits your burnt flesh. You are wearing Shigaraki's shirt that you stole the other night from his room and the sleeve gets caught in the bubbling flesh.

'I both enjoy and detest that you are in pain' Dabi says inside his head, not willing to share that much vulnerability with you. He knows very well that you could run to Shiggy or use it as blackmail.

"Well dear ol' dad left a pretty nasty burn on me, wanna see?" Dabi raises an eyebrow, finding it rather amusing for you to ask such a question. At this point you are both pretty wasted so he just nods in response. The sight of your wound excites him more than it probably should but anger and something else...jealousy perhaps? Hits him like a truck bringing him to fidget with one of his piercings the way he always would when unsure of something.

"You could've died ya know." You nod, grinning. The movement makes your head spin, making a giggle creep from your throat. "So...have you been informed of what experiments the sick fuck wants to do?"

Your intoxicated stomach flips bringing immediate nausea. The look on your face is that of pure terror twisting his stomach in a very different way than yours just did. "Not a clue...I guess I over-achieved, although with that being said I kind of wonder if All For One set me up." You admit your fears out loud and although being so vulnerable made you feel like running and hiding you stay deciding out of anyone on this earth he was probably the best one to tell.

"I wish ya luck little mouse. Hopefully he doesn't kill you." You choke out a tense laugh in response before pulling a joint from your pocket.

"How'd you get a hold of that on your own?" You smile and shake your head. "Can't go giving away all my secrets." The response makes him curious like you had intended but really it was a parting gift from your Master in hopes that it might help you sleep some tonight.

You guys smoke and drink some more both chasing the night away. You both deserve this moment of contentment.

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A/N: Just wanted to take a minute and say that turning to toxins as a way to deal with mental illness truly does more harm than good. Please if you're struggling with this reach out to someone you feel can be trusted or do so anonymously from a hotline. I never want someone out there feeling alone. 

You're loved dear readers. Stay safe out there. <3