Day 12: Better than before
"Ice cream?" Michale shouts from the living room to which Ira replies with a loud scream of excitement, I sit quietly on the couch trying to get some work done replying to never ending emails.
"You want to come along?" someone snaps me out of my thoughts, I look up at Michale and nod slowly and we head out.
"So I'll get one vanilla ice cream and-" he looks at me and I shake my head refusing, as it is I was already freezing especially because I forgot to wear a jacket, he turns and pays for the ice creams which Ira gladly takes from his hands and we continue to walk my cold hand grasping Ira's free hand, I look down at her deciding which song would be great to sing.
"Looking for the rainbowww, to break the soul inside of me" I sing out quickly catching her attention as she joins.
"The rainboww to take the clouds that hide in me" we sing along, bouncing side to side, I look behind to see Michale following right behind us, with what I would like to interpret as a smile.
"Allll I want is someone to heallll-" Ira and I look at each and giggle only because we don't know what the lyrics are afterwards.
"Where'd you learn to sing like that Ira?"Michale asks picking her up, I remove my hand from hers and walk in pace with them.
"I'm in the school choir" she says blushing obviously at the compliment of her voice.
"Wowww princess, you've never told me that" he says and slowly my mood changes, you have to be there in order for someone to tell you something, moreover your own daughter, I bite my tongue from saying something and continue to remain silent, reaching the house slowly.
"Daddy what's your favorite song" Ira asks as I close the door.
"I don't have one...Infact I don't think I've ever had one" unintentionally I laugh, two pair of blue eyes look at me
"You've never had one? Michale you do or you did" I say trying to remember the rhythm to the song, finally when I get it I sing it out.
"All of my doubt...suddenly goes away somehow, one step closerrrrr." I stop then watch him and then the realisation hits his face.
"I have died everyday waiting for you, darling don't be afraid I have loved you, for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more"
"One step closerrrrr" we finish singing and Ira claps her hands, I do a quick curtsy.
"I had forgotten about...it's been awhile" he says, I walk towards the kitchen and they both follow behind. "Rasta pasta?" I ask to which everyone accepts in delight.
"Do you guys wanna help? You can start with the sauce" I ask knowing very well that Ira loves nothing more than helping in the kitchen. I take out all the ingredients for them.
"Daddy no you have to pour the milk first"
"Ira the flour is the first ingredient"
"Mom" Ira calls out to me and smiles up at Michale as if challenging him, he looks at me and then back at Ira and says "Honey" quickly and then sticks his tongue out to Ira, to which Ira tries to grab and they both start laughing, stuck on one spot due to what he said, I rub my head he was just playing along.
"Mommy are you listening?" I break out of my thoughts at the sound of Ira's voice and smile at her.
"Are you guys done?" she nods and jumps off the counter and runs out, leaving us in the kitchen.
"How's Kayla? I haven't seen her in a long time" he asks and I mentally laugh at how she's made sure to never cross paths with him.
"Uhm, she's doing well thank you, she's still uhm, yeah" running out of something to say I decide it's best I keep to myself.
"Cool" he replies, which cracks me up "what?"
"Since when do you say 'cool' aren't you abit too old to be saying such" he looks at me with a hurt look, which makes me involuntary laugh.
"I'm not old at all in fact I'm still as fit as I was when we first met" he says smiling, I smile up at him.
"You weren't even fit when we first met either Michale, I'm the one who got you fit remember all the cardio I used to make you do" I say instantly reminiscing.
"All in the name of keeping in shape, even when you were pregnant with mickey you-" my eyes met with his and I immediately saw the hurt and pain in his eyes, I could feel the tears at the bridge of my eyes, because I could feel him pull away slowly I took a step towards him and he moved back, he finally looked into my eyes.
"We've never spoken about this" he shook his head, wanting to walk away I blocked his view with my arms my eyes silently pleading with him.
"Michale if we don't talk about what happened we will never heal, I want us to be able to go visit him as a fam-"
"We're not family Ilana, Hannah is my family" he says glaring into my eyes.
"And Ira? Is she your family or are you planning on abandoning her, wait you already have" I say placing my hands on my sides.
"Yeah well atleast she's still alive, I'm not a murderer" he spits in my face, I can feel the pain, the anger, the grievance in his voice, I look at him hurt at calling me a murderer.
"Every single day I wake up wondering what if I had not left the house and listened to you instead, or maybe if I'd not forgotten to take his teddy with so he wouldn't have had to go back to the car , it eats me up in the inside every single day! God knows if I could reverse time I would, I'd do anything to bring him back" he watches me silently, I look back at him "I don't expect you to forgive me because I haven't forgiven myself either but all I'm asking is that we don't feel like we're walking on eggshells everytime we or someone mentions his name" I say and move from his view so he could pass, he leaves in a hurry shutting the front door leaving it thud with an echo that spreads through the whole house.
Each day I think there's progress when in reality there's none, we're still yet to overcome the most difficult obstacle only and maybe only then will things get better.
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Definitely not how things were supposed end but it's definitely not a surprise, any thoughts on the type of person Michale is? Comment atleast three words.
Other than that I hope you enjoyed the chapter, today is the 11th of February 2024 and it is my little sister's birthday, and like to give her a shout out to her, happy 14th to my first baby.
Anyways in honor of her birthday don't forget to
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Yours truly
-Diverselyunique
YOU ARE READING
Lost in 30 days
Roman d'amour"I watched someone go from loving me every day to acting like I was the worst thing ever" When her husband approachs her with divorce papers, Ilana uses the chance to ask for 30 days of his life, but what he doesn't know is, alot was about to happe...
