CoMari Au (Omori)

INCORRECT QUOTES

Kel: You believe me?
Aubrey: Kel, you're the last good person on this planet. I'd believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.

Sunny: Tell me a little about yourself.
Basil: I'd rather not, I really like this group.

Mari: How does one turn their emotions off?
Basil: Okay, so first go to settings.
Basil: I'm a fucking idiot, I thought that said emojis at first.
Mari: No, I'm still willing to try this, go ahead. I'm at settings, what do I do next?

Basil: Hopefully Sunny has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings.
Sunny: Oh, shut up and die Basil.

*Hero rushes by with an armful of water bottles*
Sunny: What's going on?
Kel: Hero wouldn't drink water.
Sunny: ...And?
Kel: And I asked them how fast they could chug an entire bottle.
Hero, loudly: 16 OUNCES IN TEN SECONDS, BITCHES!

Mari: That's ridiculous, Hero doesn't have a crush on me.
Basil: Yes they do.
Sunny: Yes they do.
Hero: Yes I do.

Hero: What do rainbows mean to you?
Aubrey: Gay rights.
Kel: There's money.
Mari: The sign of God's promise to never destroy the whole Earth with a flood.
Sunny: It is an optical phenomenon that separates sunlight into its continuous spectrum when the sun shines on raindrops.

Sunny: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life.
Hero: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?
Sunny: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.
Mari: Edible.

Kel: I need 28 lightbulbs for 28 ducks.
Hero: Ducks can't eat lightbulbs?
Mari: I think that's the point.
Kel: Exactly. I want my ducks to glow so I can find them.

Mari: What does "take out" mean?
Hero: Food.
Sunny: Dating.
Basil: Murder.
Aubrey: It can be all three if you're brave enough.

Hero: I love the term 'partners'. Are we dating? Are we robbing a bank? Are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit? Who knows.

Kel: Strawberry milk doesn't taste like strawberry OR milk.
Hero: Go the fuck to sleep Kel.

Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-
Sunny: No returns.
Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad...

Sunny: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Basil: You and me!
Sunny: *tearing up* Ok.

Sunny: When I said you should try being friendlier this isn't what I meant.
Basil, stirring a cup of tea aggressively: Oh, so now I'm TOO friendly? There's no pleasing you.
Aubrey, who broke into their house an hour ago: Two sugars please.
Basil: Coming right up.

Basil: We call that a traumatic experience.
Basil, turning to Aubrey: Not a "bruh moment".
Basil, turning to Mari: Not "sadge".
Basil, turning to Sunny: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

Sunny: Sure, you're verified on twitter, but are you verified in the eyes of god?

Basil: I'm going to hell.
Sunny: Probably.
Basil: I'll pick you up?
Sunny: *nodding* Carpool.

Mari: I warned you.
Mari: I'm perfect.

Hero: Why are Basil and Sunny sitting with their backs to each other?
Kel: They had a fight.
Hero: Then why are they holding hands?
Kel: They get sad when they fight.

Mari: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.
Kel, Hero, Sunny, and Aubrey: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

Kel, pointing to the wall: What color is this?
Basil: Gray.
Hero: Grey.
Kel, turning to Aubrey: Now tell them what color you think it is.
Aubrey: Dark white.

Aubrey: ....Thou shalt not marry each other, for thy art both sinful...
Mari: I just wanna fucking marry Hero!!

Aubrey: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it.
Aubrey: Everything will be fine. You have no choice.
Basil: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that?
Aubrey: Ominous positivity.

Basil: Seriously, I have no idea what to do.
Basil: Oh, wait! Yahoo! Answers.