CoMari Au (Omori)

Part 32

I got discharged from the hospital. I'd still have to go there periodically, but at least I was no longer forced to stay there, spending my nights in a cold, lifeless room. 

For a little bit, I just enjoyed being home, in my bed, in my room, safe.

At about 12:00, KEL came over, knocking on my door, just as he used to. For a brief second, I considered not answering.

But I did answer, there was no point in not answering, and everything would turn out much better if I did answer.

"Hey!" KEL greeted me. "Wanna go get GINO's for lunch?"

I smiled. "Sure."

We walked to GINO's together, chatting like we did on the first day I'd come out. There were so many problems going on that I'd forgotten how nice just spending time with KEL could be. I knew, I hoped, that he would be my friend no matter what I did or had done, which would be helpful, if we really were going to tell them. 

We ordered a pizza.

"So... how are things going?" He asks.

"I guess there are good things... but also bad things too." I answer.

"What are some of the bad things?" He replies, always wanting to help.

I bite my tongue, not wanting to tell him, but I blurt my thoughts anyway. "I'm so worried about BASIL... he's going to end up in a mental hospital... I want to help him but I also just want to stay with him... I just want him to be okay. And KEL,"

Tears come to my eyes, stopping what I'm saying momentarily.

I force my eyes to not give in, to not cry. 

I succeeded. 

"I hurt BASIL." I exhale.

A weight has been lifted from my shoulders, a weight has been dug out of my stomach, I am suddenly much lighter. The weight has been taken from my lungs, I can breathe again, and I do. 

"Everyone is a shitty person in their own way. He loves you, okay?" KEL tries to comfort me.

His response is nicer than I thought it'd be.

I nod. 

"Why did he try to commit suicide?" I ask, knowing KEL won't know the answer.

He shrugs. "Things really sucked for him while you were gone, you know? You weren't there, MARI had committed suicide, I think he blamed it on himself... AUBREY hated him, you know? What he did to the photo album was shitty, but he was just trying to cope. I don't blame him. Plus, we fixed the pictures. HERO immersed himself in school, he was never there for BASIL, but he wasn't there for any of us. He wasn't there for me. And maybe some of it was my fault. I immersed myself in sports, in being an extrovert."

His answer is good, but I knew all of it already. And it doesn't answer my question.

"But... I came back... wouldn't that have stopped him? For at least a little?" I asked.

KEL thought it over. "I don't know what to tell you. Maybe he wanted to die happy."

"Maybe." I echo.

"He loves you. A lot." KEL tells me.

I would say, 'I know.' 

Because I do know.

But it feels really nice to hear an outsider say it. 

I smile. 

"I love him too." I say.

KEL laughs. "I know, SUNNY. It's pretty obvious. In a cute way."

I laugh, I feel almost flattered. 

"Whenever we're older, we're gonna have to meet up a lot. Hmmmm.... I'll get you free tickets to my basketball games I play at!"

It's an unrealistic dream. 

But I want him to be happy.

"Sounds lovely."

(586 words) (4? parts left)