The other Dixon- The walking dead fanfic

XXIII

TW- mention of abuse, self-harm.

We had been walking for quite a while now, and there was only two hours or so until sunset, we probably shouldn't stay out too late,

"We should probably head back now" I said, breaking the silence. We hadn't spoke much, but that didn't matter, the company we gave each other was more than enough. Daryl agreed, picking his crossbow up as we were previously taking a short water break.

"You know, you're lucky your mum got the job out here" Daryl said, making me furrow my eyebrows,
"What?" I had absolutely no idea what he was on about. 
"Well that's why you moved right? Because your mum got a job down here, it's what dad said anyway" He spoke like he was talking to an idiot, to someone who didn't know what they were doing, saying or even thinking.

"That's what he told you?" I scoffed, stopping in my tracks. Daryl took a couple more steps before also stopping, turning back to look at me,
"Well yeah? Why else would you move?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. 

Black eyes, cuts and bruises don't appear out of nowhere.
"God, how naïve are you?" I spat. He looked at me, an expression mixed with confusion and spite,
"That's just what he told me." I shook my head, laughing,
"Yeah like he told you those bruises were because of school bullies?"

"I don't get why he would lie?" Daryl spoke out, clearly not catching on, "Why did you move if she didn't have a job?" Something inside of me snapped. I don't know why but I couldn't take it anymore. I had never shouted, cried or yelled in front of either of my brothers, never stood up for myself. Something had changed and all the years of pain were building up inside of me, waiting until this very moment to break.

"How far up your own arse are you? Honestly it doesn't surprise me with the amount of shit that comes out of your mouth! Dad abused me. Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? Are ya happy now? He used to hit me, and throw shit at me, and make me bleed! But you and Merle were too busy being as self-absorbed as humanly possible too see that. I thought this virus might've changed you for the better... but apparently not." I clutched my bow tightly, turning on my heels, taking a few strides away before stopping, not turning to look at him, but stopping in general,

"And one more thing, yeah. I have killed four people. I let my mother die in front of me. I let Merle convince me to kill two people and one of the times, he wasn't even with me! And finally I shot someone in the head because they asked me to once. But you can suck it up and deal with it because I guarantee you've done worse."

With that I left, not caring what direction I went in as long as it was away, I just wanted to be alone. I could hear Daryl calling my name but that only made me move faster, if I wasn't so stubborn maybe I would've turned back, went back home where it was safe, but come on, that's just not realistic.

---

I had been dark for hours now and I had only just realised. I hadn't stopped walking until now, and as I looked around, I realised I had no idea where I was. I tried to stay calm, climbing into a nearby tree until I reached a thicker log, leaning back so I was in a more comfortable position.

As I sat there, I let myself cry. I didn't feel guilty, or pathetic for doing it, if anything it made me feel stronger. All these years I've felt bad for showing my emotions, but not anymore. I wasn't going to let my past control me, not anymore.

There were cranks completely surrounding my tree now, it was quite amusing to watch, to pass time. I was almost out of cigarettes so I was pacing myself. I took another from the packet, lighting it, taking multiple drags from it.

My eyes darted up to the horizon as sun rays began blocking my vision. I took some more drags from the cig until it was almost finished, putting it out by pushing it into my hand, adding to the small collection of marks which I had made over the night. Sure, it hurt, but I kind of liked it.

---

I was staring blankly at my hand when I heard it, a voice, yelling my name,
"Y/n!" It was getting closer. I positioned myself a little better in the tree, so I wasn't sat down as much, holding onto my bow tightly.

"Y/n!" I let out a small breath as I watched Glenn walk into the area I was in. I watched as he passed the tree before jumping down, landing behind him, making him jump very badly. I let out a small laugh as he stumbled back, managing to catch himself,

"Watch your step" I put my hand out for him, which he took, pulling himself to his feet properly. He stopped for a second, staring at the marks on my hand, looking back up at me before brushing off it, ignoring it.

He just smiled at me slightly, shaking his head playfully before looking down,
"We've been looking for you for ages, thought you might've been bit" I scoffed at the statement, "If I die out here, it won't be to something as lame as a crank bite." I think he thought I was joking but I wasn't, I was dead serious about that one.

"Everyone's worried about you. Daryl told us what happened." I looked down at the floor,
"Did he tell you.. everything?" Glenn looked at me slightly, sorrow in his eyes, I already knew the answer,
"Only a few of us, Rick, me and Michonne, we're the ones who were looking for you." Something looked like it clicked in his head and I watched as he took a radio which was clipped onto the back of his trousers,

"I found her guys, we're making our way back now" He turned down the volume so we couldn't hear what the others said, just enjoying the silence for a moment,
"I'm glad you're okay" Glenn said, looking down at me as we walked,
"Don't get all corny on me now." He shook his head at my comment, pushing my shoulder gently as the walls finally came back into view.

word count: 1, 084
total word count: 21, 906