The other Dixon- The walking dead fanfic

XLVI

"Now what?" Michonne asked as we tied the man up with some rope from the RV,
"We track them right? Find out where they're taking them." I suggested, sitting up on a bonnet again,
"I think you should go home, take Jesus with you or something." Daryl told me, approaching me,

"You can't be serious right now." I told him, getting up from the bonnet, walking up to him,
"Glenn told me what you did. That guy?" He continued, pointing to the man tied on the floor, "He's scared of you for a reason." He continued, looking at me again.

I glared over at Glenn, who was watching our argument, alongside various other people,
"I did what I had to do. Just like everyone else."
"Nah, nah you didn't." He growled, looking down at me.

"Tell him this is stupid, Rick." I said, turning to the man, who was watching us. His silence said enough,
"Really? Glenn?" I looked over at the man, who looked at me for a second before looking away.

I shook my head,
"This is so stupid." I hissed at Daryl, turning on my heels, walking over to Jesus. I grabbed his arm, pulling him towards a car,
"Drive." I instructed him. He nodded, climbing into the drivers seat as I walked over to the passenger.

I didn't looked back, I just climbed in, not strapping myself in or anything, just slamming the door behind me,
"Do you want me to put on some music?" Jesus asked me. I glared at him, which was enough of an answer as he began backing up the car, driving it off in the direction of Alexandria.

---

The car ride was silent. Jesus didn't say anything, and neither did I. I just looked out the window, holding my head in one of my hands. I didn't say anything as we pulled up, not to any of the people waiting in anticipation, wondering why we were back so early.

Gabriel and a small group of people tried to get it out of me, but soon stopped as Jesus pulled them away. I made my way over to my house, walking inside, placing my weapons on the side,
"You're back early." Jay told me as he walked into the kitchen,
"Uh huh." I mumbled. He looked at me weirdly,
"Are you alright?" He asked, walking up to me. I hugged him tightly for a second before sighing,

"I think I just need to be alone right now." I moved away from him, taking a lighter from the counter along with a pack of cigarettes,
"Oh.. well if you need me, I'll be helping Denise sort her shelves at the infirmary." I nodded, waiting for him to leave before moving myself.

I walked out to our porch, sitting down on the floor, pulling my knees up to my chest, taking out a cig from the pack, lighting it, taking a couple long drags, keeping my eyes on the wooden floor I was sat on.

---

It was a few hours later when the others arrived, Carol and Maggie safely back too, they both headed straight towards the infirmary, although they looked okay. I watched as the group walked up to the house, a few of them looked over at me,

I was still sat on the porch, smoking another cig. I didn't know how long it had been, or how much I had smoked, but it must've been a while because Jay had come back, eaten and gone to bed, I told him not to wait up.

I watched as Daryl looked at me from across the road before turning walking into the house,
"I'll catch up." I heard Glenn say before running across the road towards me.
"I don't wanna talk." I told him as he jogged up the steps towards me.

"Okay, that's fine." He sat down next to me, watching me carefully, trying to be subtle about it: he was very good at it. He did stick to his word a little bit, we both just sat there for a while, neither of us saying anything.

"How do you do it?" He finally asked, making me look up at him for the first time,
"Do what?" I asked, keeping my voice low,
"You told me, not to think about the people you kill. How?" I sighed, looking down at the floor,

"You have to push it back, into your subconscious mind. Look, I dunno how I do it okay? I just do." I went to take another cig from the pack but Glenn stopped me, I looked up at him and he shook his head in response.

"Go get some sleep." He told me. I thought about it for a second, only now realising how tired I really was. I stood up, throwing my lighter and cigs into my jacket pocket, turning around when Glenn said something else,

"Y/n," He said, I didn't turned around, I kept my back to him but stopped walking, "The things you did today, they don't make you a bad person." I took a deep breath,
"I know.."
"Nobody thinks that either." I nodded, I'm not even sure if he saw it but it didn't matter.

I pushed the front door open, walking in, hanging up my jacket on a hook on the wall. I made my way upstairs, changing out of my clothes, crawling into bed, falling asleep almost immediately, letting the comfort of the bed take over me.

word count: 893
total word count: 46, 251