Eris Vanserra | Ignis Aurum ✓

Chapter 14: ALBA

Alba was panting heavily, sobbing and screaming. She was hyperventilating, her head over the toilet and she threw up again. Marcialla fisted her hair in her one hand the other hand smoothed up and down Alba's back.

"Calm down. Please," Alba's best friend tried, her voice silent and soft. Alba sobbed harder, bracing her hands on the toilet seat. "I destroyed everything. It was not him that destroyed everything it was me. I should have never said those things to him. I can never take them back. I can never make up. How should I ever—now how should he ever be able to forgive me?"
"He will—"
"No, he won't. Why would he even want to forgive me. I have hurt him so much. I humiliated him. I am the very worst kind of living being. Comparably bad to Amarantha."
Maricalla snorted coldly and smacked her best friend's arm. "Don't ever say that again. Never. You are not. You were in a difficult and shitty and terribly complicated situation. But I promise you that we will find a solution."

Alba finally sat back on her heels and Marci handed her a glass of water which Alba knocked down in one gulp. Through swollen and teary eyes she looked at her best friend and shook her head.

"No, this time I really fucked up and there won't be repair for the damage I have done."

Marcialla sighed.

"You can sigh as much as you want, but it is the truth. I got out of so many situations without consequences, this time I deserve all the punishment and pain I could get. I deserve all I am going through right now for the pain I brought upon my mate. I was too selfish—
"No, you wanted control over everything, just like you always do. This is how you are, but that does not mean you are a bad person. You really think I would be friends with you if you were a bad person?"
"I would understand it if you no longer want to be my friend..."
Marcialla sat down on the ground and pulled Alba to her chest. "Never going to happen, Al. You are my family. I am not going to unfriend you because you just slapped a High Lord in the face."

Alba folded her hands over her face and screamed once again. "I slapped him. I had totally forgotten that. I am nothing better than Karzine."
"So he really hit you? More times," Marcialla expressed in shock. She shuddered and squeezed Alba tightly. Alba only barely dipped her chin—she hadn't told her best friend about it, knowing that Marcialla probably would have cut Karzine's balls or...worse.

"And that is complete bullshit. That is completely different. Eris had done something wrong, he hurt you as well and that is why you slapped him. Karzine...he hurt you because he wanted to demonstrate his power over you."

Alba sobbed against her best friend's shoulder, snot and tears wetting her shirt. "What should I do now?"
Marci inhaled deeply and leaned her head against the wall behind her. "First you need to talk to Helion and the others—apologise for all the fuss and everything. And then...then you will have to talk to Eris." Marcialla held up her hand when Alba pulled back and gave her a startled look.

"Don't look at me like that. You have to. The two of you have to talk and you also have to apologise again. You said some bad things to him. I am your best friend and I love you but he, even though he fucked up as well, deserves an explanation."

Alba swallowed thickly and nodded her head. Marcialla was right. But how was she going to talk to him? How should she approach him? Would he even listen to her? Would he even want to listen to her?

She doubted it—she had simply ruined everything.

Marcialla tugged on her hand and stood up. "Come, let's see if Eris Vanserra's family is still downstairs."
Alba nodded hesitantly, being more thankful than ever to have her best friend. She was, without doubt, the best thing that could have happened to her. Someone who always had her back even after all the big shit she had done.
"Thank you so much, Marci," Alba sobbed when she stood and embraced her friend tightly. "I love you so much!"
Marci held her tightly and giggled, "I know. I know you love me! But that is what best friends are for. And see, it is not that hard to open up." Marcialla leaned back and tipped Alba's chin up with her thumb. "Maybe you should consider doing this more often from now on. Being honest with yourself and saying what is bothering you."
Alba smiled weakly—her best friend was so damn right.

"I came here to apologise," Alba said, voice barely above a whisper. Lucien snorted coldly and shook his head. But Elain furrowed her brows and squeezed her mate's hand. Alba quickly looked away as tears built up in her eyes once again.

"To all of you. Leta, Helion, Lucien, Elain. What I have done was wrong. And what I said to Eris today was also wrong."

Alba knew that the right side of her face was still a nasty red, she had made no effort to cover it up. For such a long time she had done that, not anymore.

"Yes, Eris and I slept together. We both knew it was a mistake, but you just cannot turn back time. You have to live with the consequences and I thought it would be easier." Alba's lashes dampened, her throat burning.

"I thought it was just this one time and that I would never think about it again. That we could just continue on with our lives, but—" Her voice broke and she folded her hands over her face. An arm wrapped around her shoulder and she was pulled towards a soft chest. She thought it was her best friend, but Marcialla still stood at the threshold.

It was Elain. Alba hadn't even noticed that Elain had gotten up and had walked up to her.
"Ssh, it is all good," she whispered, her fingers stroking through Alba's curls. Nothing was good.

"Nothing is good. I hurt him and I am truly sorry for doing that. I should have never said those things. I should have never talked my—"
"Mate like that?" Helion questioned. His expression was stern, unreadable, his voice reproachful yet gentle. He spoke like a High Lord—with power but also with compassion. He held Leta close to him, somehow wanting to shield her from...the pain. Leta's eyes were mostly fixed on the Alba's burning red cheek and the Second-in-Command knew that Leta had endured similar —most definitely worse— things.

Alba dipped her chin, tears falling down onto the ground. Elain squeezed her tightly. Alba removed her hands from her face, lifted her gaze. "Yes, my mate. The mating bond has snapped for us—for me. I don't know. I don't know what to say or think anymore. Only that I am so sorry."
"You should not be telling us that. You should talk to my brother about it," Lucien expressed, nothing but cold anger in his voice. He hadn't said anything up until now and Alba knew she had also hurt him. It was his brother and even if they had a difficult past, they were brothers now. Brothers who loved and supported each other and brothers who felt the other's pain.

"I know. I will," Alba breathed, trying to search Lucien's gaze, but he avoided it. His jaw was clenched while he stared at his mate who still had her arms curled around Alba. "I am sorry, Lucien."
"Don't. I am not the one you need to apologise to, so it is unnecessary."
"Lu," Elain mumbled, but Lucien shook his head.
"I will talk to him. I will do it. First thing tomorrow in the morning."

Later that night Alba found herself curled up to Marcialla once again, her head as usual resting on her best friend's chest, the sheets pulled up to her chin. She was already feeling bad about that. Did Marci not want to sleep in her own chambers again?

Alba's sleep was uneasy, she turned and shifted a lot. She shuddered and suddenly—

A shriek ripped itself free and Alba sat up in bed. Cold sweat was building up on the back of her neck, her chest heaving rapidly and her breathing coming in quick pants. A bolt of hot iron pierced her heart, blazing fire shooting through her veins.
A kernel of panic and horror started to bloom in her chest and she knew it could only mean one thing.

Marcialla, startled by Alba's scream, sat up as well and worriedly tried to figure out what had caused it.

Horror filled her voice when Alba said, "Eris. He is hurt."