For now ... I will be ok

Hold on for me , my arms are tired

I stood infront of the little girl she had almost white blond hair  she was so small I was scared she would break if I got closer

I could play dumb about where she came from or who she was
But I knew who she was
I know her story
A little too well
She walked up to me her eyes were full of stars she was so bright

" what happened to me?" She asked while she looked over my appearance

" well sometimes we can't always see what is happening around you and you don't always see the flaws of those who make themselves out to be heros "
She nodded as I spoke
" you look so dull " I nodded at her comment
" yea it is really hard to keep up appearances when you go through a rough time but I promise that there are people out their who will notice your dullness even when you can't and those people will help you glow again "

I saw tears fill her small eyes " I'm scared "

I want to protect her from all the monsters and all the pain and everything that happens I want her to grow up knowing that she is amazing and knowing that she deserves life

I embrace her tears spilling out of my own eyes " I promise it isn't all bad , you cut your hair and meet people who care and trust me things are different but they aren't absolutely horrible , you will find out what pain means but you are also gonna find so many moments of joy "
She looked up at me
And whispered
" I wish I could protect you from all the mean things you say are happening I wish I could bring you back with Me "
I nodded " I do too but I think I am right where I'm meant to be right now I care about a lot of people in my life and they need me and I need them "

" but what about my family?" I pause at her question " well maybe it's for the best that you find one instead of staying "
She looked away
I know the thought of it was hard to grasp . The concept of needing others more than your own family is strange to think about

" before you go I need you to do something for me no matter what goes on In your life, from now on I am gonna need you to just hold on , you have to stay , stay no matter how much it hurts and stay no matter how much you want to leave cause I promise you that your gonna find things that make staying worth it "

She nods " I think I can do that "

She turns around to leave but stops
" so ... we are gonna be ok ? "
I nod
" yea kid we are gonna be just fine "

And just like that she's gone

I mourn the loss of that little girl some days the innocence I used to hold and I wish that I could actually go back and tell that girl to hold Onto whatever light she can , but I made it without anyone telling me and she can too

And I find that I have grown so much
I have become a new person
And I hope she knows that too

Cause I wasn't lying

We are going to be just fine