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Welcome to Night Vale

WhAt?!?!?! TwO uPdaTeS iN onE dAY?!?!?!

It's not really anyone's POV it's just Cecil's show.

The world is turning. But never fast enough. Welcome to Night Vale.

Today was supposed to be Wednesday, but remember Night Vale, today is Thursday. Wednesday was cancelled due to scheduling errors. Mayor Pamela Winchell announced this morning that she apologizes for any inconveniences this has caused and says that this will never happen again, except, of course, for that one Autumn Monday we all know will never happen. In other news, John Peters (you know, the farmer?) reports that his invisible corn crop isn't producing how it usually is, and invisible corn prices will have to go up. Well. John Peters, I will still buy your invisible corn even if the prices are a bit high. I mean, seriously listeners, isn't that just the best invisible corn you have ever tasted? And now, traffic.

Imagine for a minute, blue. Just blue. No, not red. Only blue. Blue car, and blue sky. Blue roads and trees. Imagine Night Vale in blue. No- sorry, purple. Yes. Imagine Night Vale in purple. Purple. Just purple. Only purple. Take Night Vale out now. Leave only the purple. That one shade of purple everyone knows, but cannot name. Darker than Royal, but lighter and less blue then plum. Not quite deep. Just... purple. Sweet, sweet purple. You are this nameless purple that you know and you are and always have been. Why haven't you noticed this before? Surely you would've noticed if you were the color purple. No. Not that you are colored purple. You are this nameless purple. Nothing else is real. Just purple. This has been traffic.

Listeners, this is troubling. People in Night Vale are protesting the cancellation of Wednesday. People are gathering at street corners with sign posts saying 'Today is Wednesday', or 'You cannot cancel Wednesday, cancel Thursday instead. ' Night Vale, people are protesting. People do not protest to make a point. To make their point, people steal babies, or hold up Big Rico's. People do not just protest in Night Vale. Come to think of it listeners, I do not recognize any of the people protesting. Oh... this is very, very bad. Night Vale is not a very large town, so i know everyone here. Everyone from John Peters (you know, the farmer?) to Rico Samuels, the owner of Big Rico's. Now, as I try to look into this further, a word from our sponsors.

Look at your light. Is it flickering? Has it, unbeknownst to you, turned green? Become a reptile? If the answer to any of those questions is yes, hide. Run to your closet, though you will need to eat because you will spend the rest of your life in a closet. Visit Walmart, low prices, low expectations.

Listeners, the situation of the protesters on the corners has gotten worse. During the break, I have gotten word that more than a third of the Sheriff's Secret Police is protesting, less than a fourth but more than an eighth of the Vague yet Menacing Government Agency is protesting. There is word that a hooded figure was been sighted watching this all go down. In other -happier -news, John Peter (you know, the farmer?) tells us that he has discovered a patch of beautifully growing invisible corn that he had not noticed before as it was invisible, and that the invisible corn prices will be just fine this year.

*TARDIS noises*

Listeners, a strange blue box has just appeared in front of me. It says 'Police Public Call Box' on it. Could this be a new invention from the Sheriff's Secret Police, and If so, why would they make it? A child who looks as if they were in their early teen years has stepped out of it. She has blonde hair blue eyes, and is accompanied by a tall red haired woman with green eyes. They see-

*a feminine voice takes over and shuffling and arguing is heard in the background*

Hello? Is this thing working? This is the Doctor and-

*Cecil takes over again, worry is evident in his voice*

Listeners, the two people are now fighting over the mic and demanding I tell them why I brought them here. I can assure you, I did not-

*The Doctor takes over again*

Someone must have brought me here, the coordinates were set-

*more background noise is heard*

I think I got rid of them, for now. Back to our main stor- what was that Adam? Carlos? Really? With a sign? Oh this is bad... Adam -the new intern- has told me that Carlos the scientist has been spotted on a street corner holding a sign reading 'It is impossible to cancel a day. Time goes on still.' I'm sorry listeners, I must try to help. While I am gone, I take you to, the weather.

(For the full experience listen to Exterminate, Regenerate by Chameleon Circuit, link will be below)

Thankfully, listeners, the protesters have disappeared! After I took you to the weather, I hurried to the spot where Carlos was seen. I found him with his eyes wide and mouth gaping slightly. I waved my hand rapidly in front of his face and he did not respond. I was eventually able to grab him by his shoulders and yank him out of the mob of silent protesters protesting the loss of Wednesday. When I did this, Carlos snapped awake from his deep hypnotic state. Unfortunately, and luckily as Carlos woke all the other mystery people vanished on the spot leaving various articles of clothing and signs with random slogans about Wednesday. This is unfortunate listeners, because we will never really know what happened here today. We did learn one thing listeners, never cancel a Wednesday again, scheduling errors or not.

Also if any of you brought the Red-Haired lady here please contact me. She is still very upset. She is also waving a metal object with purple light coming from one end and making a slight buzzing sound. I do not know what it is for, but she seems alien. Is she a visitor from another world? I do not know. I do not know.

Hey what are you- I am sorry listeners, but I will have to go now to deal with this situation.

Listen next for the gentle thoughts of a slightly twinkling star.

Good night, Night Vale. Good night.

~~~

My friend wrote the majority of this (I added the Doctor Who part), and she said I could use it so thank you Maya. Also you and Rex are cute together. She doesn't have a wattpad but her Fanfiction.net username is Khoshekh42. You can find her original work at the link below. I love all of you so much, thanks for 4.8k reads, and have a fantastic life!

The Wednesday That Never Existed by my friend Maya:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10415835/1/The-Wednesday-That-Never-Existed-A-Broadcast

Exterminate, Regenerate by Chameleon Circuit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7_KXL6VBBE&list=PLTOUU9ycGUxACYND5kJce7ldvo8QyWQmP

I do not own Welcome to Night Vale or Doctor Who

Bye!

-Sophie