Little Things

Chapter 16

To be honest I've been moping around,and Kellin was trying his best to help but nothing seemed to cheer me up.

I remember every aspect of the moment when they told me I lost my baby. It's a few weeks,to be exact it's been 3 and a half weeks.

I've gained more weight than I'd like to admit. I've started cutting recently. I don't want to but It's the only way I know that I'm still here. I bleed just to know that I'm alive.

I can't stop thinking about Tony,Mike still comes and sees me and tries to help but Jamie usually stays with Tony,they said its hurting him a lot about what he did,but I don't believe them.

I mean lets be realistic when you think about the time and place when he broke up with me,it makes it look like he was only with me for the baby.

Maybe I'm just over thinking things.

I've been sleeping in Kellin's bed but I ask him to stay with me,I feel safe around him. It's also not bad to have his arms wrapped around me.

He claims that I'm crushing on him although I am, I deny it,I don't want people to think I'm a band whore and I'm in deep depression anyways,so I couldn't stay happy in a relationship.

Kellin walked in;I was sitting in his bed. He's always so happy,I wish I could have his happiness.

"Take a shower and get dressed,I'm taking you out tonight." He stated while grinning

"Kellin I-" I started but he cut me off

"I don't care,I want to and I know you want to get out. So get dressed,hun." He winked and left the room.

I took a hot shower and I felt much better. Next,I have to pick out a dress.

I decided on a aqua colored dress that had a heart line it came a few inches above my knee. I chose my black Vans for shoes,to be honest I wasn't that great in high-heels as if I'm not clumsy enough.

I got dressed and did my makeup which consists of a little eyeliner and mascara.

I walked down stairs to see Kellin looking extremely hot. I wanted him in that moment,I started to let my mind wander in that moment,until he snapped me out of my extremely heated thoughts.

He decided that we would walk instead of use his car. He gently placed his hand in mine and sent us on our way.

We arrived at a beach,which happened to remind me of mine and Tony'a first date,but I wasn't to think about him at a time like this.

"Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?" Kellin stated while looking at me in the eyes.

I blushed and gave him a simple "no"

Don't get me wrong I love Kellin,but I still have a connection with Tony,you know what they say those who are your first will forever haunt your thoughts. Which he is doing a good job right now..

As we were laying down on the beach gazing up at the bright stars Kellin asked me a question that startled me.

"Do you think I'd ever have a chance with you?" He asked looking in to my deep brown eyes and me staring into his bluish gray eyes. I was awestruck.

"Kellin,I like you a lot but no matter what happens my Heart belongs to Tony,I don't want to date or even think about dating right now I just lost my Boyfriend and more importantly my baby. I would need time,but Kellin you do have a very good chance."

He smiled as I finished my statement he leaned in ever so gently and kissed my lips softly,I couldn't resist I've waited for this moment ever since I laid eyes on him. I kissed him back quite roughly.

He leaned over and caressed my side and kissed me gently once more.

He rested his forehead against mine,I smiled and closed my eyes not wanting this moment to end.

He picked me up and carried me back home.

He kicked the front door shut with his foot and walked up the stairs,he gently laid me on his bed,I loved the feel of his silk sheets. He took my shoes off and climbed in the bed with me.

He wrapped his arms around me and I rolled over now facing him. I cuddled up to his chest.

We laid in a comfortable silence before I heard Kellin's soft snores. He was precious when he was asleep probably more adorable when he was asleep.

I liked him but I love Tony and there is a big difference between the two.

I drifted off to sleep with my last thought being

"I like Kellin but I love Tony,Would Tony care if I was with Kellin?"

And with that I bid my thought goodnight.