Little Things

Chapter 1

I am home.

I am at my home, and I let out an exasperated breath as I began to ponder on the thought. This is my home now.

These walls were now my own, These rooms were my rooms to create my own memories in, the old ones not being something that I would want to keep anyway.

Grateful.

I am grateful for this.

I sighed as the steaming water ran down my body , coating my delicate skin. These last few months had probably been the most stressful days of my life so far.

We spend our early teenage years waiting to be older so that we can become our own adults. Adulthood is not what we thought it would be though, We don't think about all the things that being an adult entails.

Wasting some of our best years, the best years to create memories, trying to become our own adult. I started wasting my chance to create memories when I was sixteen. I was ready to be out on my own, to be in control of my own life, but in a way we always have control of our own lives. Even if our guardians did make most of decisions until our early teenage years, we still have that control. We did and we still do, I know it seems like we don't have that ability much less that control, but I will reiterate we have control over our own lives.

We get to make our own decisions about how we choose to live our lives. We get to choose what we want to do and when we want to go about it. Some of us find out young what we are going to do with our lives, others find out in their twenties, and some people don't know until its almost too late and their body has already started to deteriorate on them.

From an early age I chose not to be the kind to wait too late. I don't have a clue what I am supposed to do with my life or even why I am here but that's the great thing about being in control, its never too late to figure it out.

I chose not to let this life pass me by, too long I spent trying to fit in with those around me, but I am not like those around me. I am my own person and only now did I just begin to embrace that I wasn't the same.

Being the odd one out was always kind of my thing, even when I was with the in-crowd, even though I did my best to fit in I was still different I knew that, everyone else around me did too. I'm still molding myself into the person who lives on the inside, I am determined to let my soul show on the outside of me, my appearance I mean.

No longer will I hide myself behind a façade, this is me. I am who I am, and this is what we are.

Being pulled from my thoughts as the, once steaming hot water had now begun to run ice cold, I reached for the knobs and turned the water off. That's why I love showers they help me do my best thinking. People try to find a quiet corner in the world to just stop and think, but my quiet corner? My shower. Next to my music, my shower was an escape.

I wrapped the towel tightly around my frail frame, and I started my journey back into my room.

Living on my own has always scared me, I didn't really care to be alone, I was honestly happiest with people around me, silly I know, but I have always been a social butterfly.

Giggling at the thought, my parents had started calling me that around my eight grade year, all the teachers would have to move me around because no matter who you put me beside I was going to talk.

Pushing the door open to my bedroom, I crossed the threshold and made my way to the dark dresser that stood in the corner of the room, finally deciding on a 'H.I.M' shirt and some black ripped jeans, I got dressed and left my wet hair, which was now a dark brown because of the water but would soon dry to show the natural color of a light brown, to fall around my shoulders.

As I made my way down the hallway I ran my fingers across the walls, like I said, I was terrified to live on my own but it was time for some change, it was time for me to finally be on my own and it was made clear when my parents were ripped away from me.

Death. Death is odd, one day they are here and the next they aren't and how does someone cope with it? I know its a natural thing but the one and only thing my parents had never taught me was how to live without them.

Twenty years. I had twenty wonderful years with my loving my parents and it was like someone snapped their fingers and they were gone. My parents had always been so supportive of me and my decisions and they loved me for who I was, unconditionally.

It had taken me two months to finally move out of the home that the three of us had shared, it was time to move on and to be my own person. No matter how much I didn't want to , No matter how much it scared me, I knew it was the best thing for me to do and I knew my parents would have wanted me to do that.

When I moved, I was nervous. I was a social butterfly, but I had lived in a very tiny and rural town in Alabama, and then expedited myself to the very large and busy city of San Diego, California.

I had only been in the new area for a few weeks and that is when I met him....

The man of my dreams, or so it seemed.