Little Things

Chapter 29

Two Weeks later
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This was the first time in a really long time that I had woken up with a smile on my face, I knew that I would be seeing Vic and Mike today as well as the others and I don't know how I felt just yet about seeing tony again.

But I knew that it had to be done in order for us to have closure and fully move on from one another. I wasn't proud of myself for what I had been doing since I got to Austin's but it as a form of coping and I'd eventually figure my life out.

I sat up on the bed, I began to feel queasy and I pushed the feeling aside trying to convince myself that I just sat up to fast and I was still tired and that's what it was.

The longer I sat hunched over holding my tummy the more sick I felt. By time I could feel the vile substance rising in my throat, Alan walked through the door. I ran to the joining bathroom and let the nasty substance leave my mouth and into the toilet. Alan followed me and was so kind as to hold back my hair, and for that I was thankful.

Alan gave me a quizical look but I tried to brush it off. I got up and started to brush my teeth, I tired to ignore the nagging fact in my head that it could be what I thought it was but I couldnt know for sure and I just ignored it. I would be fine. When I spit out the last bit of toothpaste, I gripped the side of the sink and looked at my pale reflection and sighed.

"Are you okay? Is everything okay?" Alan said his voice calm yet assertive. I knew that I should voice my thoughts to Alan but there is a possibilty that it is not excatly our reality right this second.

"Yeah. I'm okay. Everything is okay." I said with a smile small. I gave him a quick peck on the cheek and made my way down stairs and into the living room. I sat on the couch with a huff and just thought. What if it was real? What if this was true? How could I do this? I can't put myself through this again,at least not now.

On the other hand, This could be it. This could be the new start that I had been needing. This could be it, everything and anything that I have been needing and wanting.

Half of me wanted this the other half was agaisnt it. I was having an internal battle with myself, I wanted this but did I need this? Was this a good thing for me, for us? Or could this be the worst thing for us?

Only time could tell us, this was okay. I would be okay. Everything would work out how it was supposed to.

I must have been sitting there thinking for a while because I was brough out of my thoughts by my family walking through the door. When my eyes connected to Vic's I knew that I had to tell him the thoughts that were encircling my brain.

Before I made my move to talk to Vic I called everyone down the stairs and everyone made their greetings with one another. I hugged my brothers and even Tony. Tony didnt smile or anything but he hugged back and that was all that was done or said and I am okay with that.

I locked eyes with Vic and he got my message because he walked over and grabbed my hand and led me into the restroom. "What is it?" He said with such sterness that I was almost too scared to tell him the situation so you know what I did?

I cried.

I broke down crying. Vic let the stern facade go and wrapped his arms around me.

That's when it happened. That is when I told my oldest brother every single thing that I have done since I left and went to Austin's place.

I told him about my relations with Alan and I told him what my current fear was. Vic was the oldest and the wisest so He agreed with me and said that we better make sure that our thoughts were on the right track. Part of me was excited to find out and the other part was scared beyond belief.