Little Things

Chapter 25

I sighed as I sat on the bed that we once shared. I looked around the room we both became to love and to know. The bed held such memories,The adjoining bathroom held too many things,from him holding my hair back to me holding his hair back.

It was all to much to bear, too much heartache. I got up and walked around the room,the late night talks,the skype calls,the love that was made in this room,all gone. Dead. No more to be made and nothing left to claim.

Everything is gone, Love, Lust even the hate. There was nothing here never was and never ever will be,we both are too caught up in our own lifes to care about each others. I spend more time with my friends than him,even when I go on tour with him.

I fought with flesh, blood and my own tears to make this work but he didnt. I thought I loved him, I thought I knew what love meant. I thought I was ready to start a family with him,but not with a rockstar, he has too much to work on, he wouldnt have time for his kids and I am not depriving them of a father figure.

I just fell in deep end when this all began, I thought he was the one for me, I thought he would always be there for me no matter what. That all ended the day he chose working 24/7 over me, I knew it would be hard but its over with. Done. No more waiting and hoping and wishing anymore. Im over it.

Oli knew what happened and how things ended and he told me he is going on tour soon and that he didnt want me to be left alone so he gave me an address to one of his close friends places and he told me to tell them that he sent me.

I always thought that I would have Tony by my side to help me through things but now was the time to accept that there was no more between us. We were done for. No hope. No love. No lust. Nothing.

There were no more sparks between us, just the same routine every day. Slept on different sides of the bed, no contact, no speaking just two people to grew out of love who live in the same house.

Things shouldnt have ended up this way. This wasnt how this was supposed to happen. We were supposed to be married, have children, be in love, grow old and die together, stay together forever not grow apart, not hate each other with every fiber of our entire beings.

Love.

That is what we belived in it was also what ended us.

There was only so many excuses and ways to tell about how you grew out of love.

We all think we love someone, but do we truly understand what 'love' is? What is love? We dont understand the concept of it. I mean how could you find a random person and confess your undying love for them, you dont know who they are or if you're actually supposed to love them and marry them or if you just set yourself up for failure.

Enough was Enough, I wasnt wasting my time here being ignored and not wanted. I was going to Oli's friends place and starting over. Having a new life. Forgetting everything and Everyone in my past.

Everything changed when he refused to fight.