Ever since that night with Jax she didn't feel like herself. The guilt was eating at her while it didn't seem to bother Jax at all. He had made himself more available to Shay and Leela, and while Shay appreciated him being around more for their daughter it was frustrating that he only began to do it right after they had slept together.
"I've missed doing this." Natalie said sounding nostalgic as she tucked a piece of her dark hair behind her ear.
"Me too." Shay smiled as she looked at the sad smile that formed on her sister's face.
Shay knew a part of Natalie always felt bad for leaving Charming and her behind but Shay understood why she did and in no way was she mad or upset with her for it. There was always going to be moments in life were you had decide what was best for you and Natalie did just that. Shay could never be mad at her for that.
"Kozik wants us to have a baby." Natalie blurted out before taking a long sip of her drink. "He thinks now is a good time." She added.
To say Shay was shocked at Natalie's confession would be a lie. She had been waiting years to hear those words come from her sister's mouth and honestly, she was surprised it took so long. Shay knew Kozik had wanted children for a few years now while Natalie was bit more apprehensive due to their childhood.
"What do you think?" Shay asked as she took another sip of her drink while looking at her sister.
She didn't want Natalie to feel pressured to have a child just because Kozik wanted to. It should be a mutual decision between the couple because Shay knew if Natalie was pushed to have a child she would grow to resent both Kozik and their child.
A soft sigh left Natalie's lips, taking a sip of her drink before she spoke. "I want to have kids with Kozik. I've thought about it for years, having a little mini Kozik running around, playing with Leela, but I'm always so scared I'll turn out like Farrah." Natalie said as she spat their mother's name from her mouth with disgust.
"Oh Nat, you could never be anything like that woman. You'd be an amazing mother." Shay reassured her older sister with a smile.
It hurt Shay that their mother had caused so much damage to them even now that they were adults that Natalie was afraid of having children because of the woman. The damage their mother did to them would always stay with them no matter what and that was one of the many reasons Shay refused to ever see or speak to her.
"Thanks Shay." Natalie smiled. "Now let's have some fun. It's a girls night after all." The older brunette smiled as she poured more alcohol into hers and Shay's glasses.
Shay let out a laugh as she watched Natalie fill her glass with more jack and coke. She knew she'd have a hangover more than likely in the morning but it would be worth it.
"I slept with Jax." Shay abruptly blurted out as she scratched at her forehead. She couldn't hold it in any longer. She needed someone else beside herself and Jax to know.
"And you're just telling me this now?" Natalie said as a smirk took over her face. It didn't surprise Natalie to hear her sister's confession. The older Miller sister had always thought Jax and Shay would end up together in one way or another — especially now that they shared Leela.
"Nat, don't smirk like it's a good thing." Shay groaned as she ran a hand over her face. "I cheated on Ben. That's really fucking shitty of me." She said, reminding herself and Natalie of her boyfriend — her loving and loyal boyfriend.
"Look, I'm your sister and I love you, but you really need to figure out what you're doing because someone is going to end up hurt." Natalie said as she put a comforting hand on Shay's shoulder. "Ben is a good guy, but is he the guy for you?" She added while raising an eyebrow.
"I don't know." Shay said softly as a sigh fell from her lips. "I don't know if either one of them is." She said truthfully as she ran a hand through her dark hair.
Natalie hated seeing her younger sister like this. She could tell it was weighing heavily on her mind and she wished there was more she could do to help her, but she knew Shay was the only one who could make the decision she needed to for not only herself but Leela.
"You'll figure it out." Natalie reassured with a smile.
"Yeah, yeah." Shay nodded as she placed a smile on her face. "No more talk about guys let's fucking drink." She said before clinking her glass against Natalie's and downing her drink.
There would be time for her to think on things tomorrow. Right now all she wanted to do was drink and have fun with her sister — If her mind would allow her to that is.
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AN — sorry it's a shorter chapter than usual, but I wanted to show more of Shay and Natalie's relationship. Thank you for all of the votes and comments !
