Lily Dearest | Nate Hardy - S&C

30. Amanda

  I wanted to figure out what kind of shit I have now. I haven't been able to sleep for a bit. My dreams are filled with spirits or ghosts. Luckily though none of them can touch me in my apartment, still. I don't want that to come to me when I am not ready. Even now I and driving around because I couldn't sleep. It's 2 am right now. I took my phone though so Nate could get ahold of me. I was sick and tired of not knowing anything. Another fortunate thing for me is that Amanda was supposed to meet up with me either today or tomorrow. I stepped on the gas revving up the engine as I flashed down the freeway. I was most likely going to get pulled over, but it felt nice in an odd way. I have recently started taking my online courses once more. It gets my mind off everything, but it still isn't enough. The supernatural worms it's a way in there somehow. Just like I called as soon as I stopped the car and got out to sit near the graveyard. Nate's contact appeared on my phone.

"Hey," I answered.

"Lily Ann Bowers." Nate fully named me.

"Nate David Hardy," I laughed hearing him sigh. "Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up." I walked through the graves.

"I would rather you do that than I wake up to an empty bed," He sounded tired.

"I'm sorry. You just look so peaceful so I let you sleep." I kicked a rock on the path watching it roll on the black pavement. The moon was giving me enough light to see.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, just can't sleep." I turned seeing the shadows move around the graveyard.

"When are you supposed to be meeting with Amanda?" He asked me.

"Uh, I think either today or tomorrow," I let out a long breath.

"Okay good. Are you going to be gone for a while longer?" 

"Uh, I don't know. Probably not, why?" I asked him.

"I was going to make coffee if you were. I won't be able to sleep while you are still out driving around." He grumbled.

"Okay, I will be home in like ten minutes," I assured him.

"Okay. Be careful Lily, I love you." Nate sang.

"I love you more." I smiled before hanging up. The shadows were still wandering around the area. I feel like I know what most of this is, I just don't know how to control it. Well, control the spirits I guess if I even can?

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It was today. I was meeting Amanda today. We were supposed to go out for coffee. Nate was going to hang out with Sam and Colby while I went with Amanda. I was supposed to meet her at the small coffee shop downtown. We weren't supposed to talk for long, she told me she has heard of this happening before. So it gave me a lot of hope. Oddly enough I was also excited. When I dropped Nate off I visited Kat for a bit. She was talking to me about birthday plans. I wanted her to help me throw a surprise birthday for Nate since his birthday was in October, but she was also trying to talk to me about my birthday plans. Finally, though I got downtown and walked in. I was only a few minutes later than the time we decided, but Amanda was sitting there already. 

"Sorry, I hope you weren't waiting too long," I smiled putting my coat down.

"Oh, no your good. Let's go grab a coffee." She smiled getting up. I followed after her. I didn't know what kind of coffee I wanted. Maybe just a caramel macchiato. After we ordered and got out drinks we went to sit back down.

"So how long have you and Nate been dating?" She asked me.

"Uh, I think a year now. Probably a little longer." I smiled at her. 

"Good. I can tell you both really truly love each other," She nodded taking a sip of her coffee.

"Yeah, I count myself lucky I found Nate before someone else got him." I laughed at my joke. She did as well.

"Alright," She sat up straighter. "Now I need you to tell me what your experiences feel like?" She told me. I looked ou the window thinking for a moment.

"Well before the accident, I could just feel the entities around me. I could feel their emotions and their energy after the accident. I can see them sometimes, and hear what they want or are going to say. They speak to me directly and the physical attacks have been more prominent now." She nodded slowly taking in everything I have told her. "I also can't sleep anymore because spirits try to talk to me. I don't want to be a therapist to the dead if I am going to be one for the living as well. That might be too much emotional stress for me." She laughed lightly.

"Alright, well first off. You are in control, you set the boundaries with the spirits. They cannot touch you, they cannot harm you. They can't speak to you unless you allow them to. It is all up to you," She pointed to me. I chewed the inside of my lip listening intently. "So when you go on these investigations you just make it clear how you are going to investigate and who or what can contact you." She clarified.

"Okay, but I will still be able to see them?" I asked and she nodded.

"There isn't anything you can do to stop that, but they won't be able to speak with you unless you allow them. Also, some spirits will visit you at your home, but usually, they go away if you ask." Amanda added. She was very confident in her gift. "You died in the accident, right? Sorry if that is intrusive." I shook my head.

"No, you are good. I did, four times actually." she nodded, "Then this supernatural shit just went through the roof." I raised my brows taking a sip of my coffee.

"Yeah, I have heard of a few people this has happened to. Your spirit just gets exposed to the supernatural side of the world, you become more aware. It is easily controllable though. You just have to be confident and stern with the spirits." She told me and I nodded.

"I don't think I will be able to be as confident as you," I took another sip of my coffee. It was a little more bitter than I am used to.

"I have grown up with spirits around me, I have been exposed since childhood. It takes time, but you will definitely catch on quickly," She smiled at me.

"How do you know though? I always feel so emotionally vulnerable," I admitted. She took a deep breath.

"I watched a few of the previous videos after the accident. You have already set boundaries just most of the time you break them by speaking something out that you don't intend on making contact with." I leaned back realizing she was right. I like ghost hunting, but I don't like that I am more vulnerable to ghosts than the others. "And with the emotional part of it all, just focus on your own emotions. You don't have to try and seek people out unless that is your intent. Just focus on your own emotions while you investigate." She smiled at me once more.

"You really do give me a confidence boost," I complimented, and she just laughed.

"Comes with the gift I guess," She shrugged. Amanda was a very positive person. I have only spoken with her a few other times, but I got that vibe from her as well. "Let me see the ring," She said showing me the gimme hands. I laughed and showed her.

"Ah, it's so delicate. I love it!" She smiled at me. 

"I love it too. I am so glad he knows me so well. I wouldn't want a giant rock in my hand. Our love isn't resembled by the stone on my ring, but the whole ring itself and what it stands for." I told her twisting it on my finger.

"You both are so down to earth," She smiled finishing off her coffee. "You both are very understanding of one another and that is what makes a perfect relationship." I nodded laughing a little.

"All about understanding," I said tipping back my coffee and drinking the rest. Amanda was actually very helpful. Confidence is key.