I. Heart Of Gold (Uneditied) ✔️ ORIGINAL

Fifteen - Just Friends Hanging Out

Maddox's POV:

I let Nikki know Emmi was back to normal, but she looked scared. She told me to try and keep her calm. I wasn't sure how to do that, but I knew I needed to try my best. Nikki and I hung up and I noticed Emmi uneasy. I reached over for her hand, but she pulled away. "Emmi, what happened?"

She lowered her gaze as she picked at the bottom of her sweatshirt sleeve. "My head was playing tricks on me..."

"I mean before that. I got in the car and you were freaking out. What were you panicking about?"

I watched as her eyes shifted, as she debated on telling me. She sighed and looked up at me, "I was panicking because...I thought you were just playing the part...the part that I wanted. Or you're using me just in a different way than Zach had."

"Can I ask you a question?" She nodded. "Have you dated before Zach?" She shook her head slowly. Now it all makes sense. I thought with a frustrated sigh. "One thing you need to know about me, I don't use people. I can play parts, but this part I am supposedly playing to you doesn't exist. I'm not playing any part, Emmi. I am genuinely concered about you and your health. You put everyone before yourself. You need to take time to make sure you're taken care of. That is what I am doing for you. I am making sure you take care of yourself."

I ran my hands through my hair as she looked at me curled up in the passenger seat up against the door. "Emmi, I'm not mad at you. I'm just worried about you. That panic attack and whatever your head did after that, scared the shit out of me." I paused. "What happened after the attack?"

She gulped and looked down again. "I don't know what my head did. I don't understand it, but after my panic attack I heard your voice, but saw someone else..."

"Zach."

She nodded and looked up, metting my gaze, "I'm not exactly sure what happened, or why my mind did what it did. But I'm sorry..."

Emmi looked like a frail young girl, not an almost sixteen-year-old girl. She looked terrified and I didn't know how to help her. It broke me to see how fragile and frightened she had become in the four months she dated that dirtbag. "You have no reason to be sorry. You don't know how to trust anymore. Nothing is your fault, Emmilia."

She looked even more frightened when I used that name. "Where did you hear that?"

"Nichole mentioned it to me on the phone when I spoke to her. That is your name isn't it?"

She nodded, "Yes, and it died when I was ten." Her attitude changed and I had a feeling I hit a sore subject. "Can we go to lunch now?" She buckled back up and sat facing forward, staring out the front window. When I didn't answer and she didn't feel the car move, she turned to me, "Well?"

I cleared my throat, "Uh, yeah." I turned the car on and put it in gear, taking off to Honey's Diner for lunch. What the hell happened that she hates her name?

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The rest of the drive was quiet and I could tell she was having an argument with Nikki over text, since she was angry texting and fast. "You don't have to be mad at Nichole." I told her drly as I parked.

She looked up at me with daggers, "Why not? She's the one who told you my dead name."

I ran my hand down my face with a sigh, "Emmi, I needed to figure out how to bring you back. She told me it to help me help you." I turned to her, defeated. "Look, you don't have to tell me the reason, but she was only trying to help. As was I. She never told me it was a sore subject with you. Otherwise, I would have never said it."

Her expression changed, it was softer and I could tell she was having another internal struggle. I didn't realize how damaged she actually was. She hid it so well on the outside until she couldn't handle it anymore. "I'm not ready to admit the truth about it. I'm not sure if I ever will be ready...but I do need to come to terms with what happened. I'll explain that later on." She let out a shakey sigh and grabbed my hand, "Please...just be patient with me and don't use that name for a while. I will eventually explain everything to you, but trust is--"

I pulled her into a rough kiss and I smiled. It took her a minute, but she melted into the kiss and the tension and stress around and between us melted with her. We pulled away and I chuckled, "Trust will be an issue for a while. Take your time, I can wait."

She nodded and pushed her hair behind her ear shyly. We both got out of the car and headed inside to get a table.

We were seated immediately and our waiter came over with a nice pep in his step. I kept my eye on him as he flirted with Emmi. She didn't seem to take notice, but I felt an emotion I don't think I had felt before with a girl. I was getting green with jealousy. Was this my heart telling me that the feelings I was confused about, were indeed there and full force toward the beautiful girl sitting in front of me?

I cleared my throat and glared at the waiter, "I think we need a minute, Xander."

The thin, short waiter turned to me and took a step back. Had he really just noticed I was sitting there with her? "Oh, I'm sorry. Sure. Let me know if you have any questions." He left and Emmi turned her attention to me.

"What?"

She shook her head, "Really? I can see the green just dripping off of you right now. You sure this isn't supposed to be a date?"

When she asked me that earlier, it was a no, but now? I wasn't sure anymore. The kisses we snuck just made my heart beat faster and my desire for her stronger. My only question was, were these feelings true or were they me just wanting a one night stand, which I know she'd never give me.

"I don't know." I mumbled behind the menu. I looked at her over the menu and smiled softly as she doodled on the paper place mat in the corner, clearly not hearing my answer. It looked like a drawing of her squeezing a stuffed heart so tight it could pop. And then I noticed she was drawing a little comic up the side. I set my menu down and rested my chin in my hands. "Whatcha drawin'?"

She looked up and blushed, covering up her doodles. "It's nothing. Just my feelings I guess." She chewed the inside of her cheek.

Before I could ask, Xander came back with a big smile on his face. "Decide what you want to order?" He looked directly at Emmi when he said it.

I know what I want. I thought with a silent snicker. I cleared my throat, not sure why that thought popped in my head. I didn't realize Emmi had ordered already and the waiter was just staring at me, waiting. I quickly ordered my chicken tenders, fries and coke before he left again.

Emmi looked at me concerned, "You okay? You look nervous all of a sudden."

I scratched the back of my head and I felt my hands get clammy. "Y--yeah. Just a thought I had threw me off."

"What was the thought, if you don't mind me asking." She asked, going back to her doodle.

I could tell she was listening, but I was scared to submit to my feelings. Denial just seemed so much easier for the time being. "It's nothing. Just some feelings that I'm confused with."

She glanced up for a second, "Do they involve...me?" I saw her cheeks flush and I felt my own do the same. She stopped what she was doing and looked directly into my eyes, "They do involve me!"

"No, they don't. We're just friends, nothing more. Right?" That broke me a little inside. I knew what I wanted and that wasn't to be just friends. I wanted so deeply to be more than that. I couldn't keep denying that to myself, but I knew Emmi wasn't ready. At least I didn't think she was. I couldn't answer that, she was the only one that could do that.

"I mean yeah, but..." she paused and shook her head. I could tell she was having second thoughts. "No, yes. Friends. I like us being friends."

I smiled and that's when our food came. It was quiet after that as we ate, though I could tell she was wanting to say something else. I left it alone and chuckled at how she ate her burger. She glared at me, but laughed too, realizing how silly it was.