Chasing pavements | Timothée Chalamet

ASD

"We need something to divert the attention again" timothee whispered, his head in my lap as we were seated on the ground in his little hiding spot at the library.

It was the end of may and soon the topic of the met gala wore off. The weeks after the met were glorious, the paps were backing off and it finally felt like I could do this again.

I had finished my mural and the siblings had indeed kept the blue paw prints on the floor leading to the kitchen. They said their restaurant was all about family and feeling at home, so the family dog's paw prints fit right in.

"My graduation is next month" I shrugged but Timothee shook his head "that's yours, and I want to keep it as yours and not the world's" I smiled at that.

"I might have an idea, I've been thinking about it for a while" I started and Timothee looked up to meet my eyes as I spoke. "What if I come forward about my autism? Not only will it grab some attention I might even be able to help people, show them that autism isn't this bad life changing disorder which keeps you from doing the things you love, I mean it is life changing but just to show that you can work with it and that it's not something to be ashamed of"

"I am no longer ashamed of it, not like I used to be, so why hide it any longer?"

Timothee stayed quiet for a little while seemingly taking in the information. "It sounds like a great Idea, but I don't want you to feel forced to do it".

"I don't, I've wanted this for a while"

—

And so it was discussed with management and a plan was set up.

I didn't want to make it bigger than necessary just a casual instagram story mentioning it, and if necessary an instagram post or tweet making an official statement if people didn't grasp it from the start.

I put a picture of 12 year old me on my story with the caption "if little Andy heard that I am able to go to red carpet events without having an autistic melt down she wouldn't believe you"

It was just that, people would be speculating what I meant with it and it would draw attention.

Just like anticipated people started to question it almost immediately. Making statements on it, some even talking about how they have autism themselves and that they feel good knowing someone they look up to deals with the same.

DM's were flowing in with heartfelt messages from 'fans' -could I call them that?- either way people were telling me how happy they were I spoke up about it, some saying they had their guesses because they recognized themselves in me.

The one thing I didn't expect from it was the question to have an interview at the tonight show with Jimmy fallon... alone.

I stared at Sarah in shock as she revealed this to me. "You're kidding right?" She shook her head with a proud smile. "Nope they really want you, people are looking up to you Andy, what you did meant a lot more to people than we ever could've guessed, representation is important these days"

"Don't feel pressured to do it, but we think this will be a wonderful opportunity for you" Jessica added.

And that's how I found myself walking on stage to join Jimmy.

"Andy! It's so great to have you here" he greeted "how are you?". I sat down on the comfortable chair and answered "to be honest I'm very nervous, this is the first time Timothee isn't by my side and the focus is one me, so yeah no definitely nervous, but I'm very honoured you would have me" I rambled, shit my first words spoken and I was already fucking it up.

"I can understand how nerve wrecking that might be, luckily Timothee isn't far" He smiled at me and I looked over my shoulder to look at Timmy who was standing backstage. "No he isn't" I answered with a love sick smile probably stuck to my face.

"Now, you've made a very brave statement on your instagram recently which seemed to have broken the internet"

"I wouldn't say it broke the internet" I chuckled.

"Cracked it at the very least" Jimmy joked.

We spend the rest of our interview time talking a bit about how it was to grow up with autism and how I am dealing with it now that I'm 'famous'.

I told Jimmy and the audience the truth. That it had been hard especially since I got diagnosed in my teenage years having spent the years before that questioning what I did wrong, why I was different.

Then I revealed the truth about the little women premiere and why timothee missed the q&a the audience let out understanding noises and 'awh's' when I talked about how Timothee was there to help me through it.

"I don't think I could've done all this if it wasn't for Timothee being so supportive" I finished.

"That's beautiful, I think I speak for everyone when I say that you've made us all a bit emotional, you can tell by the way you talk about him that you love each other dearly"

"That I do Jimmy, that I do"

—-

With the amount of questions I had been getting I decided to do something with it and put a question sticker in my Instagram story so the questions could all be put in one place making it easier to answer.

And that's how 'question Tuesday' made it's way into my life. Every Tuesday morning I would post a new question box and I would answer them through out the day talking about autism, spreading awareness and showing support.

It was a great succes and it felt good to help people like this.

I was starting to create my own identity, I was no longer only known as "timothee's girlfriend".

I was asked to take part in a podcast episode, I had interviews for magazines and I was even approached by a brand which made special earbuds for people struggling with noise sensitivity which landed me a partner ship with 'loop'.

—

"How do they look?" I asked Timothee showing off my newly acquired loop earplugs. they were small and the only part showing was the silver ring.

"They actually look really cool" he took a step closer for further inspection. "And you can still hear me?" I nodded "loud and clear"

"I'm proud of you" he whispered before kissing my cheek. "So so so proud of you, I can't put it to words"

My smile widened and my heart fluttered.

"Really just look at you, doing all these things making people feel accepted and seen, spreading awareness and just, you, you're glowing" he rambled cupping my cheeks.

"I love you so much"

"I love you too" I said back before he pressed his lips to mine. Walking me backwards making my back bump against the kitchen island.

Timothee kept kissing me as he lifted me up on the counter. Clothes were quickly taken off and I carefully took out the ear plugs.

"Want to hear you at full volume" I winked at him.