A Snapshot of Dixie

7: The Flood of Flashbacks

TUCKER

Why do we make choices that end up hurting us in the future? No matter the consequences, we still go through with it like it's the only choice we have. At the time, the excitement of where my life was headed overpowered the difficult choice I had to make that day, but I thought I was doing what was best for both of us.

I thought the answer to everything that ails me was securing my relationship with Dixie Mae once again. But goddamnit, I'm an idiot once again because she's right.

She's always right and more often than not, I hate to admit it, but it's the truth. I haven't earned anything as far as she's concerned and I'm happy that she's choosing herself over anyone. She's always lived abiding by her mother's strict rules and felt obligated to work on her family's farm because it means the world to her. It's no one's fault but my own for not asking her to come with me in the first place.

Taking the walk of shame toward my family's old farm that's a few miles away, so many of my life's consequences stab me in the chest. Replying the moments of Dixie and I's unforgettable last day, I get lost in thought.

"What will you do with yourself when I'm not there to be your song muse, Tucker?"

Setting down my guitar, I step behind Dixie and wrap my arms around her waist to stop her from swinging. Lowering my voice to her ear, I whisper, "I guess I'll have to come back and fill my inspiration bucket." I kiss her cheek, causing her to giggle. "Besides, it won't be forever, Dixie Mae. Since the release of my first album was such a hit, the tour was bound to happen. It's one sure way the label can get their money back on helping make it since my father disappeared and it was left unfinished."

Dixie stands up from the tire swing and whirls around, wrapping her delicate arms around my neck. "I know it's been hard for you since he left Tucker, but I want you to know how proud I am of you for pushing through."

"I have to. My momma needs someone to be there for her. You know it's been two years and she still cries whenever she hears the song Paint me a Birmingham. It used to be our favorite song to sing and now, every time I hear it, all I can think about is how heartbroken she is." I look away from Dixie as my bitterness rises from the thoughts.

Like always, Dixie calms my mood with her touch as she cups my cheek and looks into my eyes.

"No matter what you may think, I know he loves you, Tucker. We never know why people do the things they do, but I like to believe that everything happens for a reason. Good things fall apart, so better things can come together."

Grinning from the wisdom beyond her year words, I press my forehead against hers and reap from the solace she brings me. "And that's why I love you, Dixie Cup." I peck her lips and brush the hair from her eyes, draping it behind her ear.

"Are you ever going to tell me why you call me Dixie Cup, or are you going to leave it a mystery for the rest of our lives?"

Smirking, I reply, "Let me show you," Spinning her around, I reach into my pocket and pull out a pen. Pressing the pointy object against the skin of her neck, I trace the outline of her freckles.

Grabbing my phone from my other pocket, I snap a picture as she turns around to look.

"I used to sketch the image of your freckles in my notebook when we were younger. Since you always sat in front of me in class, I began to notice how they looked like a cup."

"Oh my gosh! You're right! Wow, I had no idea!"

"Now you know the big secret, Darlin'. Do you still hate the nickname?" I ask, watching her face light up. Dixie has always been a fan of sweet notions. I was saving this one for a special moment and this feels like exactly that. It still seems crazy that I'm leaving on a six-month tour tomorrow without her.