A Snapshot of Dixie

5: Dancing with Doubt

TUCKER

Why on God's green Earth did I think I could waltz back into Dixie's life and dive into that romantic world where she and I were the only things that mattered?

Her words, "You're not my boyfriend," echo in my head like the repetitive skipped track my life has become. It's silly to think that singing one of the songs I wrote for her would bring her back to that place. She seemed to care less about any of it as she danced with that measly mut Franklin. The dude has had eyes for her since middle school.

I know I haven't been the best at returning Dixie's phone calls over the years. I just always thought we had that once in a lifetime connection and even though we were apart when we met again it would be like no time had passed. Although I know it's no excuse I've had a lot on my plate and most of it, I've been barely scraping by on. My head hasn't been the same since my father left when I was fifteen. The never-ending questions that surround his disappearance have eaten at me like a thought-sucking tornado every day since.

"I'm gonna step outside for some fresh air. Great job guys." I pat Flint on the shoulder and grab a bottle of water.

Taking a swig, I step outside while some slower music plays so they can begin the father-daughter dance. My thoughts return to my father as I lean against the brick building and gaze at the star blanketed sky.

Mine and Dixie's parents were best friends growing up. Although my parents never got married as Dixie's did, I know they loved each other deeply. That's why when he left, it was so hard on all of us. It took a few years for my mom's sobs to stop. She tried to hide how devastated she was, but I could hear her cries at night. It tore me up inside, knowing that nothing I could do would ever ease her pain. It makes me angry when I get caught in thoughts of my dad because he helped me start recording songs and we built a YouTube channel where my musical talents were discovered. Without his guidance I wouldn't be where I am today. How could he just abandon us like that?

My father, Walker James, also had a passion for music, but he chose not to pursue it because of me and my mom. At least that's what he tried to tell me. Secretly I wondered if he grew to resent me for that fact. My birth was unplanned and surprising as it seems like my parents never wanted children because I'm an only child, but he chose to move us here when I was six. Why go through all that and stay with us for fifteen years to get up and leave without a word? None of it makes sense.

Gazing at the Alabama evening sky, a smile spreads across my face as I recall many nights singing under the same atmosphere. Most of my voice lessons were given to me by my dad and I have many unforgettable memories playing guitar with him. He always said the sky held all the answers to my heart's deepest desires. He said: As long as you can dream it, the sky's the limit on what you can achieve, Tucker. Don't ever lose sight of your dreams.

"Tuck, is everything okay?" My mother's voice pulls my thoughts.

Glancing toward Momma as she has her phone glued to her hand like she always does, I smile.

"I was thinking about Dad and how we used to play guitar in the backyard on nights like this. He used to dance you around the bonfire while I learned the new chords to whatever song he was working on. It seems like a different life, doesn't it?"

Momma's worried lips form a tinge of a smirk before she shakes her head and looks down at the ground. Her blonde shoulder length hair blowing with the light breeze.

"It was a different life back then, Tuck. Are you coming back inside?"

"Yeah, I'll be in soon," I reply, dropping my shoulders from her avoiding the conversation topic as usual. I wish it wasn't so hard for her to talk about. I can't bring this stuff up to any of my bandmates because there's too much history to explain and no one knows my father as we do.